Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Soap Opera

Dr. Grumpy: "Any seizures recently?"

Miss Scorned: "I don't think you've had any?"

Mr. Ictal: "Yeah, about 2 weeks ago. Remember? I was sleeping, and pissed the bed."

Miss Scorned: "I don't remember... YOU BASTARD! YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING AT DIANA'S AGAIN!!!"

Mr. Ictal: "No! I mean, I must have been on a, uh, business trip or something..."

Miss Scorned: "YOU'RE A FUCKING GARDENER! YOU DON'T GO ON BUSINESS TRIPS!"

Mr. Ictal: "You're right, I..."

Miss Scorned: "I AM SO OUT OF HERE!" (grabs purse, leaves)

Long pause

Mr. Ictal: "So, anyway, I had one seizure, about 2 weeks ago. Hey, can you download a bus schedule? I'm going to need a ride home."

18 comments:

Mockingbird said...

So, you're up at 4am as well?

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you're not making any of this up? ;) Seriously: You should have your own real-life show.

Momcat said...

Dont take your girlfriend to the doctor with you?

Anonymous said...

I would normally say that had to put you in a strange position or at least made you feel uncomfortable but based on other posts this is not the first time something like this has happened. I am surprised you don't already have all the bus and train schedules and numbers for all the local cab companies printed and at Mary's Desk for these very occasions.

I know some MD's like you to bring someone with to be a second pair of ears.....perhaps he should have come alone.

UGH!

gin4407 said...

Sleeping with his hoe, huh?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

We used to, but since they change from time-to-time we found it saved paper and cabinet space just to print them up when needed.

Editor and Publisher Shelly Burke said...

Does all this stuff REALLY happen to you? Wait, I don't care, I just want to read more. :-)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Yup. It does. And, I suspect, to every other doctor out there.

Cameron said...

@MOMCAT, not a problem if you are monogamous. Here, the moral is "don't take ONE of your girlfriends with you to the doctor."

@Grumpy, am I missing a sly reference to "Diana"? I'd have expected "Hester" or "Jezebel," though those might be too obvious. I ask because I frequently learn things from your psuedonyms, but this one baffled me.

Cameron said...

Ms. Scorned should be commended for so aptly describing Ictal in 2 words.

Ms. Donna said...

Thank you for making my day.

Mockingbird said...

So, ummm, is Miss Scorned now available? Ya know, like for dating purposes?

How's Craig's hair?

Brittles15 said...

We had a lady in ER one night her dad and fiance came to the window to check on her... A few minutes later her boyfriend came to the window to check on her. Awkward.

Crazy RxMan said...

I never believed the old story about a husband getting his Viagra filled then finding out from his wife the next day that he just left on a "business trip" ... until it actually happened to me as a pharmacist. The tech and I are like... "Uhhhhh... I hope he has a good trip. Ok, bye."

Anonymous said...

When I was a med student on the trauma service, I had a patient's wife and girlfriend show up at his bedside at the same time...neither of them had known the other existed. Since I was just a student, I had the privilege of deciding it was above my pay grade and getting the hell out of there.

Anonymous said...

He must have wanted to get caught fooling around. There's no other explanation for such stupidity.

Dude'sDoctorMom said...

Reliable colleagues describe the long-haul trucker who passed out and crashed, landing in our ICU. When he recovered consciousness, he was greeted by his 3 wives, all of whom were from different parts of the country, none of whom knew about each other prior to meeting in the ICU. It is rumoured the gentleman really wished he could return to his comatose state at that point...

C said...

OK, I looked up "ictal" and found this:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15010056

this is way too weird for me, but maybe poor Mr. I. just thinks he had that problem because he had the sensation of having it, so he is really innocent.

 
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