Thank you for your note on my migraine patient.
I've tried several medications for Mrs. Hedhurtz, including Fukitol, Painbegone, Nomigraine, Acefalgia, Gonehert, and Nopayn, all without success.
I've done MRI's, MRA's, and a spinal tap on her. I sent her to an ophthalmologist.
I was frustrated. She was more frustrated. I wasn't having a lot of success helping her. And she seems like a nice lady.
So, since you advertise yourself as a neurologist who specializes in treating difficult headaches, and cite your 2 years of headache subspecialty fellowship training, I decided to refer her to you. You opened up shop near me last month, so I thought I'd give you a chance to earn my referral business. Your marketing person dropped off some cards here 2 weeks ago.
And yesterday I got your faxed note about her.
At the beginning of your note it says that "I've reviewed Dr. Grumpee's notes and tests in detail." That was your second lie (your first lie is in calling yourself a headache specialist, or even a doctor). I also loved the fact that you spelled my name wrong.
Your note ends with the following, which I've paraphrased.
"Impression: Mrs. Hedhurtz suffers from chronic headaches. She's previously failed trials of Fukitol, Painbegone, Nomigraine, Acefalgia, Gonehert, and Nopayn. I suggest she be referred to an ophthalmologist. A spinal tap should also be considered.
For future treatment, I suggest she be started on a medication that she hasn't previously tried before. I've referred her back to Dr. Grumpee's care to follow my recommendations.
I. M. Worthless, M.D."
Thank you SO much for your helpful advice. I'd normally say "thanks for nothing", but what you've done doesn't even amount to that much.
As my late grandfather would have said, "this is the second time I've sent you a patient. First and last."
Ibee Grumpy, M.D.