"I cleaned it up. I can clean up vomit like nobody's business."
"You should have seen her on the toilet! She pees like a mad woman!"
"He has scabs all over his penis from scratching it. It's gross. There's more scab than penis."
Nurse Night: "I told the lady in room 37 that I liked her hair style."
Nurse Day: "Yeah, I think it's a good one, too."
Nurse Night: "She took it off and handed it to me!"