Friday, April 15, 2011

Reasons I use Rogaine

Mr. Doofus: "I had an MRI at Megatron Imaging in 2007."

Dr. Grumpy: "Hang on..." (picks up phone, calls Megatron Imaging) "Hi, it's Dr. Grumpy. Do you guys have an MRI on William Doofus? No? Are you sure, from 2007? Okay, thank you." (hangs up) "Sir, they don't have an MRI on you at all."

Mr. Doofus: "I changed my name in 2009. I had it legally changed to William Doofus."

Dr. Grumpy: "What was it before?"

Mr. Doofus: "Howard Moron."

Dr. Grumpy: (dialing Megatron MRI again) "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place?"

Mr. Doofus: "Because I don't like being called Howard."


CholeraJoe said...

I have a T-shirt that says, "I'll try being nicer, if you'll try being smarter."

Packer said...

1. Over at Grumpy's office the muzak version of Nearer My God to Thee wafted through the air.
2. What is wrong with Howard, it is my middle name.
3. They get together in your waiting room and conspire to get you, don't keep them waiting so long, they won't have enough time to plan.

The Mother said...

But he has no compunction whatsoever about wasting your time.

There oughta be a modifier for "having to put up with moron."

kate said...

Those are the moments where I have to remind myself NOT to bang my forehead against my desk...Happy Friday, Dr. Grumpy!! :)

Anonymous said...

Since when did Hasbro put out a line of Transformers toys that where based off of medical equipment?

Anonymous said...

Or you find their name in your files......
me"You live at 1234 Whatever St?" them: Nope, that's not me.
More searching,
me: "hmm, you're the only Joe Idiot I have in my files"
them: Oh, I USED to live there, But not no more.
me: "well, that's still you, then, isn't it" (silently)

Plus, there's always the searching for Jill Idiot who swears she was here 2 yrs ago.
me: Sorry, I just can't find you in my records.
Jill: Oh, I got married last year. Would that make a difference??

minimedic said...

I don't like being called by my full name, but when it comes to official matters of business, I just suck it up and deal wit it!

Anonymous said...

True story.

Pharmacy wanted the patient that had been admitted through ER entered into the computer system quickly so we could label properly (and charge) drugs we were sending STAT.

We called admitting to ask what was taking so long as the floor was on our back and the doc was getting impatient.

After still a couple minutes later, we called the floor to find out bed, birth date, or account number in case we had an incorrect spelling of the patient's name.

Lo and behold. Our patient William Wade Williams III had been entered in the computer as 'I', for 'III'.

suzy pepper said...

Your patients are hilarious! I sort of wish I could just hang out with you all day. I know that's awkward... but I can't help it.

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