Monday, August 9, 2010
Patient quote of the day
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"Doc, you should have seen the way the blood was pouring out of my nose. It was, like, like, um, like really horrible diarrhea. Except it was red. And it was coming out of my nose."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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August
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- Only outside Sleepy Hollow
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12 comments:
aren't you glad vacation is over?
I am an analogy person. Anytime I explain something to someone, I HAVE to come up with an analogy for it -- it's almost a reflex. I don't even know why I do it! But sometimes, I'll start my analogy . . . . . . and then flounder . . . . . . and then end up with some LAME conclusion like nasal diarrhea. So I empathize. :)
Simile Fail!
Hope it wasn't right after breakfast or just before lunch or...any time really
Maybe it's just me, but I don't generally equate blood with fecal matter.
I'd much rather clean up the former than the latter.
"And that coke I snorted right beforehand was just like a high colonic, except that it was white and powdery and went up my nose."
Props to the patient for coming up with such a vivid metaphor. Nasal diarrhea. I like that.
Could he/she not have just said "It was a deluge of blood of Biblical proportions." It gets the point across without being disgusting like bloody nasal diarrhea.
Social boundary violation!!! (Said in shrill tones with hands over ears)
I say stuff like this all the time. Quite infamous for my horrible analogies.
Oh wow...this is the kind of BS I get to look forward to when I graduate from med school next June and start my internship?! And I thought I'd seen it all during my clerkships!! I don't have half the talent you have for describing your wierd ass patients :)
I think neurology is awesome, but I want to go into family practice :)
I literally laughed out loud. What a mental image. XD
...
Can you tell that I'm an ER Doc's kid?
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