Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Mary's Desk, August 24, 2010

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, can I help you?"

Mrs. Hiazakite: "HI! I need to get in to see Dr. Grumpy! I've heard he's wonderful!"

Mary: "Okay, we have a new patient appointment this Thursday at 2:00. Will that work?"

Mrs. Hiazakite:"I really wanted to get in today. Please? Pretty please? I'll bring you cookies!"

Mary: "That's nice of you, but I'm sorry. Thursday is our next availability."

Mrs. Hiazakite:"Will he give me some Percocet at least, like this afternoon? Just to tide me over?"

Mary: "We don't prescribe to patients that aren't established."

Mrs. Hiazakite:"That's totally unfair! Please! I said I'll bring you cookies!"

Mary: "I'm sorry, but you need to find a different doctor. I'm getting off the phone now."

(click)

25 comments:

Amanda said...

This makes me wonder if that tactic ever works for them?

Josiah O. Morris said...

Love the name...Mrs. Hiazakite!

Amanda said...

But she said she'd bring cookies?

(holy cow, people are weird...)

Angry Student, B.S., Bullshitology (In Progress) said...

I wonder if they're *special* cookies...

Anonymous said...

I never used to consider myself naive until the internet started showing me all the things people do.
Mind boggling stupidity and gall abounds.
>.<

Kat's Kats said...

ROFLOLASTC*!!!! I've been a chronic pain patient without a pain-free day since 1987 and I have never expected to get Percocet to "tide me over" on my first visit!! Geez Louise!

JoAnna said...

Good grief, my sister-in-law has been referred to a neurologist due to chronic migraines, and she has to wait a month to get in to see one (and she works for an insurance company)!

If she'd been offered an appointment in two days she would have jumped on it, and brought cookies, and not asked for pain meds to tide her over.

Li'l Azathoth said...

Cookies? I thought the protocol for addicts was to offer sexual favors...

Moose said...

and this, friends, is the difference between someone with real pain problems and a drug seeker. *sigh*

today's captcha word: BACTIES. I need some antibiotics for 'em, too.

Banshee said...

Cookies for percocet? What's the problem here, sounds like a fair trade...

I kid! I kid!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Well, it's not like they even said what kind of cookies.

Anonymous said...

hail mary

C said...

Ha! What a tool.

Wonder if she would pop up on that super secret drug list you subscribe to now..he he he.

WF, clobox. A cleaner botox?

Erin @ Sassin' Southern Style said...

You couldn't load me up with enough anything to eat a single, solitary thing that someone I didn't know BAKED.

RP said...

Purrfect! Get this all the time...well the ODs from said perc, abilify, tylenol....etc.

ERP said...

Jeeze. Just give the lady some drugs. I mean, after all, free cookies.

Phathead said...

I always wanted to dispense brownies with Xanex sprinkles personally...

Anonymous said...

Well, I'll do a lot for some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies..but sacrificing my license that took 8+ years to get is, unfortunately for her type, not included. Sorry lady, went through too much hell to get here.

Anonymous said...

I've been working in a pain clinic for 3 years now. I'm actually surprised we've never been offered cookies to give meds to "tide someone over" until their apt. And sometimes it's 4 weeks for an apt. Just goes to show that someone always has a crazier story than you do.

terri c said...

I'm with the commenters above who would be nervous to eat the cookies... YIKES!!! My neurologist is not moved by cookies but does require me to bring my cute dog with me to all appointments. And I don't even ask for pain meds. Hmmm.

The Mother said...

I bribe kids with cookies all the time. It may not work on Dr. Grumpy, but it always works on Dr. Dad.

Swami Dil said...

now if she had offered to get diet coke, things just may have turned out differently..........

Watercolor said...

ha! My neuro is always trying to give me pain meds and I won't take them. Maybe I can get HER to give ME cookies....... hmmmmmmm

Watercolor said...

Oh, not implying she's pushing pain meds, lol. 'Cause she isn't. Just offering a script if I think I'm to the point of needing them. I never think I am.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't it make you wonder WHAT patient of yours told this person that you prescribe percocets so easily. I mean somebody, who more then likely gets narcotic pain medications from you, is telling this lady, and probably others that you are easy to get pain meds from...I would be extra careful if I where you...

I'm just saying, from a recovering pain medication addict (clean for 2 years, yay me)that my friends and I would find out who the 'good' doctor was and try to score from them. I now spend my time trying to recruit these people to the doctor that helped me get clean, which makes them mad....

 
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