Friday, April 2, 2010

Quitting smoking

Dr. Grumpy: "How are you doing with quitting smoking?"

Mr. Inchworm: "Better. I'm down to 1.25 inches."

Dr. Grumpy: "Inches?"

Mr. Inchworm: "Yes. I have 10 cigs a day. And I measure them past the filter, and cut them off at 1.25 inches."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's not the most common way of quitting."

Mr. Inchworm: "Last week it was 1.5 inches, and next week I'll go to 1 inch."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you think this is going to work?"

Mr. Inchworm: "Of course! I use a ruler and everything."

20 comments:

Jericho said...

I think that is hilarious! I'll recommend that to my mom, maybe it will work for her!

Old MD Girl said...

That actually seems like not a terrible way to do it....

Kim said...

Did you ask him how many of the 1.25 inch cigs he is smoking in a day? I bet if he counted, he's smoking more of them. LOL! I suppose a tiny bit of credit is due since he is at least 'attempting' to quit. As a former smoker, I know how hard it is. Took me 4 tries before it finally stuck.

Anonymous said...

Sounds far too intelligent to catch on. Wonder if I can get his cut-offs?

Anonymous said...

So he's not motivated by reduced costs so much?

Anonymous said...

A fellow engineer?

Anonymous said...

I quit smoking by never quitting. I still have a pack in my car - it is 9 months old now and probably tastes disgusting. I kind of kept in my head that I can have one if I want one, and I left it like that. I had been a smoker for 15 years. I guess I still am since I never quit (I can still have one if I want one). Worked for me, but I know that it would not work for everyone.

Anonymous said...

This principle is taught by popular diet mags to those who overeat. Use a smaller plate! (No matter that you take 3 helpings), that smaller plate is allowing to control your portions!

Cogitator said...

Ingenious, if a bit wasteful.

Does he end up smoking ten filters a day, and then have to cut that down to one, then none?

Chris@Knucklehead! said...

It kind of makes sense, now that I think about it. Keeps the psychological part of the addition intact while cutting down on the overall smoking.

Wonder if it works for sex addicts? "This week I'm down to 1.75 inches."

Hmm.

Dr. Dad said...

I hate to say that the closer you smoke the cigarette to the filter, the worse the lung damage. Also, people tend to inhale more of the cigarette (so they get more nicotine) when they "cut down" either by smoking fewer cigarettes or less of the cigarette

Anonymous said...

I'm going to cut back on my alcohol consumption by using a smaller glass! great idea inchworm!

Swami Dil said...

Hey, whatever works............!!!

j said...

You know, this sounds like a good approach. Somebody could start selling "half cigs" for the taper process.

I know smokers who only take one or two puff per cig and then toss it... one did this for years and then finally quit, good for her.

Aura said...

The problem with this strategy is that he is maintaining the **habit** aspect of smoking. Everybody knows it is the psychological habit of smoking that is the hardest to give up. Mr Inchworm is pandering to his addiction by continuing to smoke in all the same "contexts" - e.g - a smoke when I have a drink, a smoke when I walk outside etc etc. So he can remain free of anxiety (as he can have a cigarette whenever he chooses) while still feeling he is "doing something" about quitting.

He is not really limiting anything. I bet he finds it easier to have 10 shorter cigarettes than to have 6 normal length cigarettes.

It's the contexts you gotta focus on, man...the contexts!

Kat's Kats said...

I was under the impression that he was limiting length but not changing the number of cigarettes he smoked per day. He specifically stated that he was having 10 cigarettes a day. Several people have mentioned Mr. Inchworm failing due to increasing his number of cigs, however, if he has already gotten down to the point where he is to 1.5 inches when a normal cig is approximately 2.5 inches (I don't smoke anymore so don't have one in front of me) then I would suppose that he is not going to increase the number now.

rcktgrl88 said...

Zeno's Paradox for the 21st century!

ERP said...

Like Phil Hartman as the "Anally Retentive Carpenter?"

Anonymous said...

As a long time smoker (24 years), this actually sounds reasonable so long as he's not increasing the number of partial cigarettes. He's weaning off the nicotine addiction, second part of the process would be to work on the weird physical habits that go with it. I would recommend some kind of hard candy, like dum dum lolipops. Takes care of the mouth fetish while doing something repetitive with your hand. I hope he succeeds with it, it is not something easy to attempt. ~R

Veneyeth said...

Funny but reminds me of the movie Fifth Element. The goal is to quit... where on the wall there are 4-5 cigarettes which the filter is is longer and the smoke part is shorter.

also someone commented that the cigarette is worse at the end. I was under the assumption this is only true because the unburnt tobacco acts as a filter of tar and other chemicals till it is it's turn to burnt.

 
Locations of visitors to this page