Looks like a soap dispenser, huh? WRONG!
It's actually a battery-powered shower-cleaning device that sprays foaming suds around your shower after you're done. Of course, I know that NOW. I didn't know it yesterday.
While I was on call this weekend, Mrs. Grumpy installed one in our shower, and didn't mention it to me.
So yesterday morning, I was showering away in the dark (I get up early, and shower in the dark so the lights don't wake up the kids). In the dim glow of the night-lite I noticed this gadget hanging there, looking suspiciously like a soap dispenser. So, to lather up, I pressed the big blue button on the front, and put my hand under it.
Nothing came out. Instead the thing began beeping REALLY LOUD.
Holy shit! What the fuck kind of a soap dispenser is this?
Crap! Why is it beeping? It's going to wake up everybody! How the hell do I make it stop?
Fuck! There has to be a button or switch or something to turn it off! I'll press the blue button again!
That didn't do anything. Shit, I can't see if there's another button to make it stop!
I leaned forward, feeling it all over to try and find a switch.
After the 5th BEEP! the little blue thing on the bottom suddenly spun around, spraying shower-cleaning foamy stuff in a circle around it, covering the shower, the tiles, and my eyes, which were about 2 inches in front of it as I frantically tried to find a way to make it stop beeping.
It burned like hell. I screamed and fell backwards, and some shampoo bottles fell on me with a loud clatter. Snowball started barking. In the panic I tried to get to a sink to wash my eyes out, before I realized that I was already in a shower with water pouring down.
As I rinsed my eyes out the lights went on, and I became aware that I'd woken up the whole house. Wife, kids, dogs, and all.
I'm going to stick with bar soap from now on.