"Yeah, I'm a patient of Dr. Cortex, and his answering service told me to call you. I have migraines and am all out of pills and need something strong, like Demerol or Percocet or one of those other drugs, the really strong ones. I need some pain relief fast, because I have football tickets, and want to enjoy the game, and if I don't get some pain meds the tickets will be wasted and it will be all your fault and I'm going to complain to the medical board and bill you for the money lost on the tickets."
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.
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Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.