Monday, January 11, 2010

Scoreboard: Arizona: 51. Green Bay: 45. Patient: 0

(While football is primarily a North American sport, I'm sure my international readers will agree that idiotically extreme sports fans are universal, though the sport varies).


Dr. Grumpy: "When did this all start?"

Mr. Touchdown: "Mmm. I think Dad's right arm stopped working in the 2nd quarter."

Dr. Grumpy: "Any idea what time?"

Mr. Touchdown: "I dunno. It was the 2nd quarter. Yeah, that was it. Because normally Dad makes a sandwich at halftime, but today he just stayed on the couch and stared at the TV. He was real quiet, even though it was a good game. Normally he really gets into them."

Dr. Grumpy: Well, it looks like it's too late to give him TPA, the clot-busting drug. We can only give it within a few hours of when things start and..."

Mr. Touchdown: "Look! I would've gotten him in here sooner, but the game went into overtime! That's not my fault! Can't you give it anyway? What's the worst that could happen?"

Dr. Grumpy: "He could bleed into his brain and die."

Mr. Touchdown: "Well, with Green Bay out of the playoffs, Dad wouldn't really care."

23 comments:

Necandum said...

Please, please tell me he didn't say that last line. Or my faith in humanity might just drop another notch (to -342, but still, its the principle of the thing.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Sorry. You do this long enough, you realize how fucked up some people's priorities are.

Maybe he was trying to make a joke, but if that was the case he used the wrong delivery.

I refused to give him the drug, and told him that next season is only 7 months away.

ER's Mom said...

So how's playoff season treating you? Looks like you're 2 for 2!

;)

Old MD Girl said...

Ok, that last line was hilarious. Even if you had made it up, I wouldn't have cared.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Old MD Girl- No I didn't.

Like I said, I think he was trying to make a weak joke under bad circumstances, but I wasn't sure.

Julie said...

O M G .... **shakes head**

landlocked lvn said...

unbelievable!! the lights are on, but no one is home in this situation.

The Good Cook said...

To heck with that last line, please tell me they didn't really wait until the game was over to bring him to the hospital. Wow. Just Wow. And thank God these people aren't part of my family.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

The Good Cook- they did. That's typical.

On Super Bowl days the ER is typically dead silent during the game, and about 20 minutes after it's over gets overwhelmed with sprains, chest pains, and other trauma that people felt wasn't improtant enough to get checked out until after the game.

Anonymous said...

I applaud your constraint. I would have bitch-slapped this little dipshit into the "Black hole" past the endzone of next month.

alex said...

Wow christ sounds like house's whole patients are idiots thing is right.

Anonymous said...

I grew up in Green Bay and the fans of the Packers are truly this extreme...which is very unfortunate in this case.

terri c said...

Actually my favorite line is, "I think Dad's right arm stopped working in the second quarter." I love this. Perhaps Mr. Touchdown can sue the Pack for going into overtime and thereby preventing the TPA.

Christy said...

Hahahahaha, I just don't get the fanaticism over sports.

Outrider said...

I believe this, because I once had a client call me after the Superbowl to tell me her horse had been colicking since the pre-game show. They went out during commercial breaks to beat it back onto its feet and chase it around the pasture.

I like to hope paying for IV fluid support (usually I can get away with simply passing an NG tube) will help them remember to call the veterinarian sooner next time, but have my doubts.

Anonymous said...

We have similar patients at this end of the continent (I'm in BC, Canada) only with hockey. I looked after a poor fellow with CHF who drove himself to hospital (gack!) and had O2 sats of 67% on arrival. Said he had to wait for the hockey game to finish, and it went into overtime. Told me the SOB started in the 1st period.

Anonymous said...

My former (work) partner is married to a Green Bay Cheesehead. NOTHING would surprise me from a rabid sports fan, much less a Green Bay variant.

Hubby's ex-wife once broke her foot in five places jumping up to cheer the Redskins while watching the game at home. And refused to go to the ER until the end of the game. And attended the next game, which was held outdoors, in a blizzard, while on crutches & in a cast.

Not to mention the number of domestic calls and assaults I have investigated related to football. The game seems to bring out violence in people - wonder why?

me said...

LMAO, while shaking my head in sorrow!

ERP said...

TPA - In his case it meant "Typical Priority (mis)Alignment"

The Evil Receptionist said...

*facepalm* Nothing really surprises me anymore.

While Rome Burned said...

I wonder what Dad's choice would have been: 1) rush me to the hospital, NOW, and to hell with the game; or

2) let's wait until the game is over so I can watch it through stroked-out eyes -you know what a big Green Bay fan I am!

I don't think I want to know the answer.

But, I'm going to rewrite my will so that if any of my sprog pull such a stupid stunt on me, they are OUT!

Anonymous said...

Football is the opiate of the masses

Anonymous said...

My old college roommate updated her Facebook status to indicate that it was a statewide day of mourning since the Packers lost yesterday. She lives outside of Milwaukee. I really hope she's kidding. Having gone home for a weekend with her during football season years ago, it may be true. Those Wisconsin people are obsessive about the Packers.

 
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