Monday, January 25, 2010

Do you enjoy wasting time?

Look, lady, I don't treat Glermfronger's disease*.

I've never treated it. I mean, I know some neurologists do, but most of us don't. It requires some additional training that I don't have.

In fact, when you called last week, both Annie and Mary told you I don't, and tried to give you some names of docs who do. You insisted on making the appointment with me anyway, saying you had "other neurological issues", too.

So, now that you're here, you tell me that you really don't have other issues, and you just made the appointment to discuss your Glermfronger's. And guess what? I still don't treat it. You coming into my office didn't magically give me the ability to treat it, like you apparently thought it would.

And handing me an insurance auth from your family doc saying "refer to neurology for Glermfronger's disease" doesn't miraculously make me treat it, either. So stop repeatedly showing it to me.

Oh, I get it, if it's on your insurance auth it MUST be true.

And now you tell me that there actually is a neurologist on your insurance who does treat it, but she's 5 miles from your house, and I'm only 3 miles. So you thought you'd lie to get in here, hoping to save some driving.

Well, you've now wasted a 1 hour slot for both of us, and your crappy insurance won't pay me for it, and someone else who needed to come in today is waiting for another day because of your selfishness and stupidity.

People like you make me wish I had a trap door under that chair.


*Not a real disease, but I'm using it for anonymity.

27 comments:

LTCLC said...

A person like that would certainly also use the handicapped parking space...just saying...

StudentDoc said...

At first I was thinking you were just that popular. Wow, what someone will do for a difference of 2 miles!
You could have something on the seat to shock 'em - claim it's a treatment option :)

John Woolman said...

Glermfrongers disease. Interesting condition. Requires highly specialised neurological treatment, simulates rotting of the frontal lobes and still leaves you able to hold a driving licence... Sounds super tentorial to me!! But then Freud did start off as a neurologist.

Celeste said...

I hope you keep a blacklist of people who can never come back.

I hope you were actually harsh to her, because she deserved it for the lie, the attempt at force, and the stupidity of thinking that saving 4 miles of driving is at all worth it.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Oh, I do keep a list of that. With copies on each person's computer.

Mari-Ann said...

Funny. We got a call at our hospital switchboard today from a woman who was looking for a doctor who will treat fibromyalgia...apparently all the doctors around here will tell you that you have it but none will treat it. Haven't they seen the commercial for the drug that treats it? Lord knows that I have about fifteen million times.

team said...

I was actually about to google Glermfronger's until I read the last line of your entry. I figured it must be really interesting!

terri c said...

Hmmmm. This is a patient that is best described by the phrase "has Axis II Diagnosis."

Flavius said...

Hehe, she picked the wrong week to mess with you. Dr. Grumpy sans diet coke is a volatile combination. If I could, I'd mail you a case, but then I think we may see some interesting posts this week :)

-Flavius

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Oh, I already sent Mary across the street to buy a case. Dr. Pissy can drink the shit he bought, but not me.

Jacqueline said...

Damn! I wanted to know the disease!

student dr. blaze said...

I agree with Dr. Woolman--she's definitely got an issue with her frontal lobes. It's also too bad stubborn and stupid are not listed in the ICD-9, because I think this lady suffers from both. There's probably a code for malingering, though--if you can't use swiss-cheese brain (999.99), that'd fit. It's amazing how hard people will work to get...nothing. ;-)

It's also a shame that you can't use some of the techniques used on House. The trap door idea is priceless.

Kim Kasch said...

Wait, you are a neurologist right? And you study the brain, right?

Maybe her other neurological issues are:

1) She's crazy
2) She's crazy
3) She's crazy

And she needs help. I'm just saying...

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Kim- I"m a neurologist, NOT a psychiatrist.

ouzelum bird said...

Aw, how sad. The poor old darling suffers from comorbid HUTAS, and needs referral for a stat anoscopy for foreign body removal.

Oh, and,
/begin revision
"Dammit, Kim, I'm a neurologist, not a psychiatrist!"
/end revision

There.
*skips away, humming Star Trek theme *

Julie said...

trap door under chair would be fine - but the alligators might get impatient waiting for the next, umm, victim ... actually given your past blog posts .. they probably won't have that long to wait between feeds!

Ladyk73 said...

oh...and why did you knickname him Dr. Pissy...cause he does crap like this?

:)

TexasHeather said...

your trapdoor comment reminded me of a book I read - An Irish Country Doctor. In the book, the doc sawed off a little bit from the front to legs of one chair, where he'd have his patients sit to consult.

They'd be sliding forward while talking to him, and keep the visit short.

He had a 2nd chair that he kept normal for the non-annoying patients....I don't know if you'd need a 2nd chair or not : )

ER's Mom said...

The trapdoor reminds me of Sweeney Todd, not that I've thought of installing one or anything...

;)

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm thinkin' it's fibro AND you're one smart MD.

thegooddrlaura said...

I LOVE the idea of the chair with the legs cut just so. Wish we could do that! Unfortunately, there's a Prik in charge of facilities that has to approve every freakin thing in the whole organization. Hmm, that Sweeney Todd trapped door is sounding good right now.

Stitch said...

I know you're an M.D. and not a grammarian. I'm not a grammarian... but I must point you to this: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling

You're not guilty of all of them... but you are guilty of SOME of them. I know I'm likey rong, but when you've spent so much money on skool that you've got a pile-o-letters afters your name, I think it's time know you're from your, its from it's and their and there from they're.

...I'm just sayin'...

Sara said...

I would LOVE to know what disease a neurologist wouldn't treat, but people think they would. It's like a huge riddle in my mind now. Like it needs a clue in verse in the first person ("I am the disease which is in your...")

Louise said...

Those of us with Glermfronger's Disease (or GD disease, as we like to call it) are really tired of being told it isn't a "real."

This GD disease hurts a lot and makes me allergic to most over the counter pain killers and usually crops up only on weekends so I'm forced to go to the ER for relief.

Anonymous said...

You know what's even more annoying than someone accidentally using the wrong form of "your"? People who feel the need to correct it EVERY. TIME. It happens when you're typing...especially while typing fast. Get over it. We all know what it means.


Keep up the bloggin' Dr. G! :)

Anonymous said...

oooh oh I know!!! its fibrocrapola!

Anonymous said...

Morgellons?

 
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