Friday, July 24, 2009

Happy Friday

Driving home at the end of the work week, and my cell phone chimes. Someone left this message:

"Hi, I'm calling for Dr. Grumpy. I'm not a patient of yours, but I found your name on my insurance list. Can someone please call me back before dinner? I need to know if sandwiches left in my car for 15 minutes can still be eaten. Thank you."

19 comments:

pharmacy chick said...

you get some real doozies, you wanna crack at the guy who wanted to eat his suppositories cuz it was too gross to use them as they're designed??

Grumpy, M.D. said...

No, the guy who swallowed a Nuva ring in my last post's comments was enough.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, we used to compound promethazine in cocoa butter; just a little chocolate powder and a drop or two of vanilla bean extract? Don't imagine PEG is better tasting, nor rubbery (?) consistency of a Nuvaring any more pleasant.

Dragonfly said...

Facepalm moment...

Tex said...

Dude, where do you live?
Is it the water...
Is it the loss of the ozone...
Did they use too much DDT a couple of generations past....

WTH?!

HugeMD said...

Hmmmm. Can I eat this sandwich or will it give me some infectious disease or stomach ailment? I'll call a NEUROLOGIST.

Maybe you're what they REALLY need. On second thought, psychiatrist.

Sandy said...

I would have been tempted to call the patient back and ask the type of sandwich, were the windows up or down and time of dinner. Of course my answer still would have been that all sandwiches have a 14 minute shelf life in a car.

Anonymous said...

New meaning to the term brain food. Nurse Whats-Her-Name

08armydoc said...

please, PLEASE tell me you called her back!!

I would definitely have asked who made them, what type of bread, had they grown anything orange or lime green in those 15 minutes, was there anything else that could substitute for dinner (or were these sandwiches absolutely necessary as last food on the planet), did she have a strong immune system, and if so, did she had a strong stomach?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Sorry, I didn't call her back.

I make it a point never to call back non-patients like this.

Once you do so you've created a legal doctor-patient relationship, no matter how silly or tenuous it my seem, and become legally liable. For all I know she's taping the call.

C. said...

If it has real mayo or other perishables, please place back into hot car for several hours then eat.

DrPublicHealth said...

I had a patient call me and ask if if a water bottle left in the car gave women breast cancer.

I said it depended upon the season and the make of the car.

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Wow. And I thought I dealt with idiots. It's a sandwich, people. When in doubt, chuck it.

Anonymous said...

maybe you pissed off the insurance company and they listed you under "24 hour help line"

EDRNKaren said...

Will you post the phone number so WE can call them back? Please oh please oh please!!!

Disgruntled Druggist said...

She should've called the Mayo Clinic...

Anonymous said...

I had a friend who called her doctor during after to ask her if it was possible for men to break their penis all because she heard it on TV. Her doctor just said if someone was hurt to take them to the ER right away, but didnt answer her lol.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Okay, it's 1-800-DIP-SHIT.

Anonymous said...

Omg... Mayo clinic for a SANDWICH EMERGENCY!!!!

 
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