"Can I get a prescription so my insurance will pay for a Roomba? I'm too tired to vacuum anymore."
"Can a Wii cause Alzheimer's disease? Cause my Dad had played it with my kids the night before his appointment. Can I sue someone over this?"
"Does Dr. Grumpy recommend any particular grade schools in my area of town?" (WTF do people call with questions like this? Do I look like the Shell Answer Man?)
"Which of the summer movies is least likely to worsen my migraines?"
And, inevitably: "I haven't seen Dr. Grumpy since 2003, but can you guys call in some more Vicodin for me?"
And the insanity of my office begins again.