Sunday, July 19, 2009

Back to the Salt Mines

On the way home, and reviewing calls from the last 2 weeks that my nurse Annie had marked as "Extremely Non-Urgent". They include:

"Can I get a prescription so my insurance will pay for a Roomba? I'm too tired to vacuum anymore."

"Can a Wii cause Alzheimer's disease? Cause my Dad had played it with my kids the night before his appointment. Can I sue someone over this?"

"Does Dr. Grumpy recommend any particular grade schools in my area of town?" (WTF do people call with questions like this? Do I look like the Shell Answer Man?)

"Which of the summer movies is least likely to worsen my migraines?"

And, inevitably: "I haven't seen Dr. Grumpy since 2003, but can you guys call in some more Vicodin for me?"


And the insanity of my office begins again.

16 comments:

pharmacy chick said...

Welcome back to reality Grumpy!

Phathead said...

Dr. Grumpy,

I have this strange itching and burning sensation when I urinate so I was wondering if you could recommend what kind of car I should by next.

Sincerely, Phathead

Grumpy, M.D. said...

An old bicycle, with just a rusty metal post to sit on.

thegooddrlaura said...

I really hate to admit this, but I got a bigger kick out of this post than your lovely vacation posts. I must be a sadist. But at least I'm an empathetic sadist - I feel your pain.

Anonymous said...

Don't you have a patient who has been waiting in a hospital for a neurological consult scenes Day 2 of your vacation. All because the doctor doesn't trust the other doctors?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Oh crap, I forgot about that, too.

I'll call Dr. Unka..... tomorrow.

Filet-o-bitch RPh said...

Why is the sky blue?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Geez. A smartass question after my own heart.


The sky is blue because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red light.

At sunset, we see red and orange colors because the blue light has been scattered out and away from the line of sight.

Anonymous said...

Now the real question. What causes the "green flash"?
-Dr.BoB (PhD in physics)

kat79 said...

As far as the movies go Harry Potter triggered a migraine for me. Which was odd they never have before.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I looked it up on Wikipedia, Dr. Bob, and am too lazy to cut and paste.

HugeMD said...

I'm with the gooddrlaura. Vacation's funny and all, but I must delight in others sharing in my same sort of misery. Plus, I love her name.

CC of the day in URGENT CARE: I "need a note saying I need to use my walker so I can use it when I go visit someone in prison." She's had a stroke, so at least it was legit if not exactly urgent. But what happens to me if now she smuggles drugs or knives in in that thing?

Theresa said...

Glad you visited my place. If you hadn't I would not have visited yours. And I'm really glad I did. Great site Dr. I'll visit again.

A Roomba prescription. WTF?

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

I as so happy to have found your blog! This is hilarious, and in a way, serendipitous. I just got back from a bizarre cruise, and my whole blog approach seems similar to yours, only I'm an elementary school principal, not a doctor.

Great stuff, I will be following!

Chris

Wakko said...

Dr. Grumpy,

Why do hotdogs come in packages of 8 but the buns come in packages of 12?

Anonymous said...

Just got back from Vacation....

You are the first blog I read (out of my list).

~ladyk73

 
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