Thursday, June 4, 2009

Thank You for Calling

The following message was left on my office voice mail over lunch hour today.

"Yes, hello. I need either Dr. Grumpy or his nurse to call me back. When I left my house to go shopping my jigsaw puzzle wasn't completed. When I got home, however someone had finished it. So I need to know how to proceed. Thank you".

14 comments:

grapegrower said...

ok, so i admit it. i am the phantom jigsaw puzzle completer.
but my cover is not yet blown.
watch out! you may be next!

DreamingTree said...

Thank goodness the person made this discovery at lunch time rather than late at night. Crazy is much more tolerable during the day. You truly must be a crazy magnet.

08armydoc said...

omfg. you win. Your crazy beats my crazy.

Though I did have a "tell my doctor I was unresponsive this morning, and please also tell Dr. H and Dr. K". ---->Axis II should be tattooed on that woman's forehead. If a patient knows what "unresponsive" means, she's been here toooooo many times. Can you spell attention seeking behavior????

And for that weird facial tic you have that looks like EPS (without ever seeing antipsychotics), I'm gonna send you to Dr. Grumpy.... Enjoy!

BTW - I LOOOOOOVE your blog! It makes me feel like I have "normal" patients.

Uro*MA said...

And how do you proceed? lol

Maha said...

That's a complete life fail right there!

Keep up the blogging Dr. Grumpy - the hilarity is addictive!

as always said...

Leave cookies and milk and an even harder jigsaw puzzle.

You shut your phones off at lunch? OMG!!!

Nurse K said...

"My professional medical opinion is to start another puzzle as the current has been completed, thus rendering its utility as an item of entertainment nil unless its aesthetic qualities would qualify it as an object of artistic appreciation. Whether you consider artistic appreciation to be equivalent to entertainment is up for debate."

pharmacy chick said...

Well is appears your caller should be calling the memory care unit at the nearest assisted are facility.

or you could say, "yea, i saw you needed help and I did it"....
ha

One Nurse said...

I too think I have become addicted to reading your blog! Your stories never cease to amaze me and make me laugh!
I love neuro patients!

Hospital Lab Tech said...

My favourite 'crazy' tale comes from the Anticoagulant Clinic that I once had the sorry duty to have to participate in.

No matter how much warfarin we gave this lady (I'm from the UK - not sure if the drug name is the same in the US) her INR would not budge. Occasionally there is genuine resistance to the drug but that's rare. I felt this case was beyond my scope so I called the Haematology Consultant to come and review her.

After their consultation, the Haem Cons felt that she did not have a physiological problem causing the lack of effect from the drug. It traspired that the reason that her INR had not budged was that instead of taking her warfarin, she was swallowing fuses - as in the thing you put in your electrical plugs as an overcurrent protection device to stop them going bang.

She was clearly reasonably intelligent because as we increased her dose of warfarin, she increased the ampage (is that a word?) of the fuses. Her gut was stuffed full of them....

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Lab Tech- How on Earth did she make the leap from Warfarin to eating electrical fuses?

Anonymous said...

maybe she was con-fused.

The Bus Driver said...

Nothing says crazy like a completed jigsaw puzzle. She doesnt need a neurologist, she needs a psychiatrist!

Shalom said...

@HospLabTech: All I can say to that is, W. T. F.?

I'd like to see her try that here (USA); our mains are fused at the distribution panel rather than the plug like you have it there in the UK, and the fuse resembles the base end of a standard light bulb (at least where they haven't been replaced with circuit breakers). Can't nobody swallow those.

Many years ago in another lifetime, I was a licensed locksmith. We had this one elderly customer who would call us every month to change her locks because some unknown person kept copying her keys and entering her apartment. How did she know? Well, her late husband's shirts (which have been hanging in her closet since he died G_d know how many years ago) are now at the left end of the pole when she knows she left them on the right end, and also the food that had been in her refrigerator wasn't there anymore! We finally put Medeco Omega cylinders in there, which have keys that can't be duplicated by anyone ever, and she was still convinced that some weird burglar was getting in there and not stealing anything, just messing with her husband's shirts and eating her food...

 
Locations of visitors to this page