WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST IS NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH. I MEAN, IT'S NOT AS BAD AS THIS STORY FROM MY ESTEEMED COLLEAGUE ERP, BUT IT AIN'T GOOD EITHER. SO STOP READING NOW IF YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO FREAK YOU OUT, OR IF YOU'RE EATING.
Before Viagra and it's cousins, there were some other methods of waking Sheriff Woody. They're still out there, for those who have issues with Viagra.
One of them is Caverject (or Alprostadil for my pharmacy fans). This is fairly effective at getting it up for special occasions. They have to be pretty special, though, because Caverject has to be injected directly into the side of your winkie for it to work. What fun.
Because it came to market before the era of direct-to-consumer celebrity advertising, we were fortunately spared TV ads featuring Eric Clapton singing (to the tune of "Cocaine"):
"If your lady is hot
Just give yourself a shot-
But I digress.
I have a patient who's been using Caverject for years. For whatever reason he can't use one of the newer drugs. He's kind of an aging, swinging, disco guy. In the 70's he was swinging, single, wearing gold chains, and picking up babes at the disco. In 2009 he's still swinging, still single, still wearing chains, and now picking up aging babes at the disco.
A few weeks ago he had a small stroke (he's fine now), and as a result he's now on Coumadin, a potent blood thinner. This gives new meaning to "Stayin' Alive".
So last Saturday he was out getting his boogie on and picked up Ms. Agingdiscoqueen. They went back to his place for some wild times. He shot himself up with Caverject and the fun began.
And abruptly ended. Apparently she got on top, and while she was riding the disco pony, blood began squirting out the side where he injected Caverject (thanks to Coumadin). Seeing blood flying all over those dark areas killed the mood fast. She ran out, and likely went home to douche with bleach.
He's been visiting me and his cardiologist today, to discuss stopping Coumadin.
Thus endeth the 70's.