Saturday, June 13, 2009

Get Your Butt Out of my Hospital, Loser

So I got called to come in to the hospital this Saturday morning. 21 year old woman who woke up this morning, completely paralyzed from the waist down. While driving in I turned over the possibilities: spinal card tumor, multiple sclerosis, big herniated disk, etc.

So I saw the patient, and as advertised she couldn't move either leg. There were some things about her story that didn't add up, but certainly she needed further work-up.

While I was out at the nurses station dictating a note she walked out of her room to ask where the smoking patio was.

As soon as she saw I was still there she ran back in and laid down on the bed.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

I guess 'waste down' was a clue since it appears that she was just wasting your time. ;-)

HugeMD said...

Here's a situation where a patient's smoking habit SAVED the healthcare system thousands of dollars!

Maha said...

You cured her Dr. Grumpy!

Phathead said...

I think it was a bonafide miracle

Anonymous said...

Glory be, it's a miracle!!

Reality Rounds said...

When my kids act "paralyzed" and refuse to move to get in their car seats or walk out of the grocery store sans candy, I tickle them to get them going. I guess this would not be appropriate physician-patient interaction though, would it? Your next option could have been offering her a spinal tap.

Chrysalis Angel said...

Ha, I had to laugh at HugeMDs comment. She didn't need the services of a neurologist, she needed a psychologist. What the heck?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

As Anonymous pointed out, I originally misspelled "waist" as "waste".

As a former high school newspaper editor, I just HAD to correct it. The idea of having the wrong homophone there was too much four me to bare.

Charles said...

You must have meant "their", or even "they're" in your above post.

Anonymous said...

Someone has a disability application pending...

Anonymous said...

I had a patient in residency who had "spells of weakness" and would suddenly "lose her strength & balance" and fall down. She started to fall in my direction and I stepped out of the way. She was a big lady and I wasn't going to risk my back by trying to catch her (I had already known a med student pal who needed back surgery from something similar). Instead of hitting the floor, her body suddenly changed trajectory and gently landed on the bed. No coordination, huh? I do a lot of things for my patients but catching them is something I will not do.

The Bus Driver said...

haha some Paralyzation...

but really the reason i'm responding here is cuz of the hilarity of the verification word which is "clinolve" It sounds like some mysterious medication meant to cure all lolol!!!

DreamingTree said...

You are seriously a freakin' crazy magnet! I'm dying to ask our neuro doc if he experiences anything like this, but somehow I think he'd just stare at me. That's all he does -- stare & write.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I was wondering if you might be willing to mention my raffle/fundraiser. I would NOT ask if it wasn't for a great cause. Plus, there are over 90 donated prizes to win totaling over $3000.00! And who doesn't like to win??

It's really a win-win for everyone. People get to help me meet my fundraising goal AND potentionally win big.

Yesterdat was the 6th anniversary of my Dad's heart transplant. I am more determined than ever to give back in a big way.

This is the comment I have been leaving on certain blogs in hopes that the word will get out about what I'm trying to do.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE clickover and enter my raffle!! You can truly win TONS OF PRIZES (totaling over $3000.00 - goft crds, Starbucks coffee maker, $600 in camping equipemtn, gorgeous jewelry).

It's for a great cause….

http://www.firstgiving.com/hallietwomey

6 years ago my Dad received a new heart.

This is my way of giving back.
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/


Thank you for any help you can give,
Hallie

landlockedtxn said...

guess she didn't realize the nurses would have charted the fact she "walked" to the desk and asked for directions to the smoking area whether you were present or not......brain cells not firing on all cylinders are they?

Anonymous said...

here is a photo of Dr Grumpy with the patient:

http://ihm.nlm.nih.gov/luna/servlet/detail/NLMNLM~1~1~101411921~171491:-Dr--Charcot-?qvq=q:B04519;lc:NLMNLM~1~1&mi=0&trs=1

Chrysalis Angel said...

That was funny!

Ultimate Test said...

Jesus, is that moon-lighting as Dr. Grumpy?

Too bad someone didn't show her the lumbar puncture needle. That would have gotten her worthless ass moving long before you wasted your time driving down there.

ERP said...

Did she have a positive Hoover sign?

Grumpy, M.D. said...

ERP- Yes. That was one thing (out of several) that made me suspicious.

But, as you know, we gotta work them up. Cause the one time ya don't...

ERP said...

The last person I had with Hoover sign I called them on it - and guess what? He looked and me aghast like how could he be lying - but as soon as I turned around and went back the nursing station, the guy got up and walked out of the ER.

Anonymous said...

What's a Hoover sign?

 
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