Friday, December 22, 2017

Holiday gift guide, 2017

This brings the gift guide to a close, people, along with the year on the blog. I'm shutting down for 2 weeks and will be back on January 8, 2018. Have a great new year and whatever else you celebrate!

Thank you for reading, commenting, emailing, and giving me a reason to keep doing this! It's a lot of fun!

After years of college, medical school, and residency, most doctors are pretty used to eating ramen noodles. It's THE staple food for the student loans crowd.

But it can be so socially awkward. I mean, some people slurp when having ramen. They SLURP! That can be horribly disturbing for those nearby (I mean, in the cases of the < 1% of ramen eaters who are chowing down on it with someone else nearby).

Fortunately, for a measly $130 (the same price as about 1,000 packets of ramen), you can get this:

What is that? What does it do? Why the hell does it cost $130 dollars?

It's a special noise-cancelling fork for eating ramen noodles (really, I am not making this up). Its audio sensors detect when you're slurping your noodles. It then connects to an app on your phone to make noise to cover up the sound.

I'm still not sure why it costs $130, but assume it's all in R&D, and all the ramen noodles packs and starving students that were needed to test it.


Unknown said...

Ramen almost doesn't qualify as food... so why didn't they just build a bluetooth app that plays those Ramen slurping sounds into earbuds while asleep?
That way an enterprising, time-saving and weight-conscious student could listen to Ramen being eaten while they slept and then bolt right out of bed into class gaining both an extra 4 minutes of sleep and having that full, digitally fed sensation.

Maybe have the sound piped from a helmet the studen wears that is shaped like one of those takeout bowls...

Officer Cynical said...

Unfortunately, it masks the slurping with a fart sound.

Anonymous said...

Thought it was a plaque-removing electric toothbrush.

Packer said...

To understand why it cost 130, you must grab the fork end turn it around and apply it to strategic parts of the anatomy as you engage the switch. Off label use only.

Anonymous said...

But, but, but, hey mister, there is a difference between snack ramen or cup-o-noodle and REAL ramen ... entire cuisines in certain countries are constructed around the lowly ramen noodle, ... the sound of slurping ramen is in appreciation to the ramen master, and indication of a pleasant gustatory experience. One can guarantee one place where this item will not sell.(See Tampopo -Spaghetti Scene.)

Moose said...

You're supposed to slurp ramen because it spreads the flavor in your mouth, and sometimes for the same reason you're supposed to slurp hot tea - to let in air to cool down piping hot liquid without burning your tongue off.

And besides, it's fun.

Moose said...

Dwayne, I suspect you've never had real ramen. Not the 30-cent packets cooked with the salt-flavored packet inside.

There's far better instant ramen (I recommend Nong Shin Ramyun), which costs more but tastes so much better. You can also get fresh ramen noodles in the fridge or freezer section of an Asian grocery store, if one is near you.

But the best of the best is going to a restaurant that specializes in ramen that makes their own noodles.

To make your own decent ramen, ditch the flavor packet (although I keep the dried vegetables in the Nong Shin packet). Cook them in a broth; I usually use chicken or miso, or sometimes both. Add in some quickly blanched or stir fried vegetables of your choice; add some cooked meat if you want. Crack in an egg if your broth is hot enough that it'll cook, or pre-cook an egg to hard- or soft-boiled, cut it in half, and add it just before consumption.

Ok, now I know what I'm making for lunch. The ramyun cooked in miso broth, with shrimp, bok choy, mushrooms, and green onions, plus some frozen wontons, with an egg cracked in. I tend to make a lot which lasts for 2-3 meals (for just me) and reheats well.

Elli said...

A battery-powered twirly fork that clipped dangling noodles (you can snip with scissors if you don't buy the top-of-the-line auto-snipper model) would eliminate slurpy sounds without risk of your atrocious eating habits being recorded and shared by the Internet of Things, or sent as a daily update to your mother.

Anonymous said...

Don't you just hate it when your roommates make loud noises while they fork?

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