Thursday, December 26, 2013

Christmas day, 2:10 p.m.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Mr. Dickens: "Hi, I need you to call in some Imitrex for my sister."

Dr. Grumpy: "What's her name?"

Mr. Dickens: "Martha Cratchit."

Dr. Grumpy (grabs iPad): "Hang on... She's not in my system..."

Mr. Dickens: "Well, she sees a neurologist in Grumpyville. Aren't you guys all connected?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No. You'll need to call her neurologist."

Mr. Dickens: "I don't know who that is. Can't you help me out? It's her Christmas present."

Dr. Grumpy: "Imitrex? Is this a prank call?"

Mr. Dickens: "NO! My sister takes it for her migraines, and I thought I'd get her some."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, but I can't help you. She's not my patient."

Mr. Dickens: "Can you at least tell me what pharmacy she goes to, and if it's open today?"

Dr. Grumpy: "I have no idea. Look, I can't help you, and..."

Mr. Dickens: "Isn't it in the neurological database thingie you guys use?"

Dr. Grumpy: "There is no such thing."

Mr. Dickens: "Where's your Christmas spirit? Help me out here."

Dr. Grumpy: "I can't call in a prescription on a patient I don't know."

Mr. Dickens: "Scrooge."



skidmark said...

When did Imitrex become a Drug of Abuse?

stay safe.

Anonymous said...

I love the name-gags in this one!

Wendy at Taking the Long Way Home said...

I had a call like this a few weeks ago. The school nurse had recommended a cream for her son's rash and it wasn't working. She didn't have time to bring her son in and wanted a different cream. When I looked through his chart, he hadn't been in for over a year and a half. Yet she just couldn't understand why I wouldn't "call something in".

Packer said...

Ah, Christmas time problems, my home phone is very similar to the Toys R Us store, so all I get are calls at mid night asking if we are still open.

Anonymous said...

Are you sure he didn't say "Vicodin?"

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I don't think he was trying to abuse it. I think he figured his sister would like some Imitrex for her migraines (maybe she didn't have insurance?) and was just clueless on how to go about getting some for her.

RehabRN said...


Maybe they should start having a wish list for the major drug chains (CVS, Walgreens, etc.)

This would make it a heck of a lot easier for you, the other neurologist, and all the pharmacists out there.

I'm sure there are state laws forbidding such things, but it would be a nice option.

Either that or said caller was giving his sister a headache.

Thank goodness going to the neuro is on my list for getting ready for the New Year, since I'm running out of my Imitrex spray. :)

BTW Word verification had heads in it...nice!

Moose said...

And then he'll be visited by the Ghost of Neurology Past, and the Ghost of Pharmacy Present, and then Tiny Tim will say, "God bless us everyone, pass the drugs."

Kimbra Kasch said...

Thanks for the giggle. :D

Anonymous said...

Moose, that was a funny one; 'Old Tyme' vaudeville with the Dr Grumpy and Moose Show.

I don't watch television at all, (not a TV bigot--just because we didn't update ours when the last national broadcast revision went into effect) but I remember a funny exchange with a customer in an agency job at Wal-mart. 'Do you know where is the ... ? I saw it on TV or a women's journal.' The word the woman used was unfamiliar and I was trying to figure out if she was mispronouncing either the brand or generic name of something she had heard or seen. No dice. I asked her if she'd seen a picture of it and she described pink and purple--so I went with some sort of Pepto Bismol or the purple pill. No. So, I asked her what it was used for and all I could get was the concept of a general feeling of well-being. Then, I started asking what problems she had that she wanted to feel better from, and all I could get was 'old age'. That narrows the spectrum of drugs available by a few I suppose.

Placebo comes in every dosage form and color, and can work by many different mechanisms of action when it's available over-the-counter without a prescription.

was1 said...

last year on xmas eve a guy dropped off an obviously forged percocet rx. 15 minutes before closing time he called to see if it was ready. when he realized that we didnt intend to fill it, he said "aw, c'mon man, its xmas. the kids are here, everybody's having fun". and i said oh, so you want me to provide the drugs for your party? he says YEAH ! that would be awesome!

Roni said...

WOW!!! What a great gift idea -- drugs for Christmas! What a loser! And to call on Christmas at that. DUNCE!!!!

Anonymous said...

God Grumpy, you are such an asshole. LOL!

Anonymous said...

As a person who occasionally takes migraine medicine (and I have insurance!) it can be very expensive. I agree with Dr. Grumpy. I think the guy was trying to do something nice for his sister but was clueless on how to do it. He should have had his sister get a refill(from her OWN Dr./pharmacy) and then paid for it himself.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like something my brother would try to do - sweet guy - a little dim. All he needed to do was wrap up a bottle of Aleve to go with it, though I'm surprised he didn't go generic, it works just as well. Maybe he just wanted to show what a big spender he was?

tbunni said...

I come into work early, check Grumpy and pass along the best ones to my doc. We are family practice and we have a lot of Medicaid pts, so he sees his share of weird behavior (OK, I know not all Medicaids are weird - just that the strange ones often end up there...)

He almost choked on his morning coffee when I read this to him - glad he didn't. He & Grumpy are the only docs I think I could stand to work with!

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