Friday, December 25, 2009

More Dragonisms

Okay, for Christmas I thought I'd give you guys some Dragonisms.

(What is a Dragonism?)

Dr. Grumpy said: "She's had bilateral breast augmentations."
The computer typed: "She's had bilateral breast amputations."

Dr. Grumpy said: "Since the stroke he's taken Plavix."
The computer typed: "Since the stroke he's taken buttocks."

Dr. Grumpy said: "Flexeril helps her back pain."
The computer typed: "Sex oral helps her back pain."

Dr. Grumpy said: "The ophthalmologist is treating his corneal abrasion."
The computer typed: "The ophthalmologist is treating his toenail infection."

Dr. Grumpy said: "I'll see her back for the tests."
The computer typed: "I'll see her back for the tits."

Dr. Grumpy said: "He has circumoral paresthesias"
The computer typed: "He has immoral paresthesias"

Dr. Grumpy said: "When the neck pain worsened, she went to a chiropractor."
The computer typed: "When the neck pain worsened, she went to a car repair."

Dr. Grumpy said: "She has Ambien to help her sleep."
The computer said: "She has Indians to help her sleep."

Dr. Grumpy said: "After the fall he had a right knee arthroscopy."
The computer said: "After the fall he had a right knee atrocity."

Dr. Grumpy said: "She has migraines with phonophobia."
The computer said: "She has migraines with porno phobia"


stewbert said...

haha. those are great. I used to type medical reports, though now I mainly just edit VR jobs so the doctors don't sound stupid. Your examples were better than any of the "dragonisms" I've come across at work.

As a side note, I used to edit transcription typed overseas (by ESL folks)... they were worse than VR. And when the job of editing their own work went to their department, let's just say a lot of our hospitals weren't very happy. The doctors all looked like morons. It was scary.

Anonymous said...


"Sex oral helps her back pain," is my favorite, though.

Classof65 said...

I already have the Indians to help me sleep, but I'll have to ask my doctor for something for my back pain! Just kiddin'! I'm 'way too shy to do anything like that...

j said...

LOl, don't they have a medical version?

student dr. blaze said...

*awesome*! :-)

Grumpy, M.D. said...

J- this IS the medical version. With years of training to my voice, too.

Mary K said...

I honestly think that is one of the funniest things I have ever read!
Merry Christmas!!

Anonymous said...

I'm sooo glad to see someone else has this problem.

I say, "the patient complains of abdominal pain"

The computer says 'the patient complains of hymenal pain.'

Anonymous said...

Love it... i am missing your link to fail blog tho :(

River said...

Wouldn't it be quicker to just type the stuff in than to have to go back and correct all those mistakes?

MTS said...

Thanks, Dr G! Just what I was looking for for a good laugh today. The non-medical version is much worse ....
it is usually easier to use a qualified transcriptionist. Thankfully, Dragon Medical can catch most of the words with training !

ERP said...

I want some super hot Bollywood Indian chicks to help me sleep!!!

The Mother said...

Isn't going to a chiropractor essentially the same thing?

OMDG said...

Did you get the Snoop Dogg version or something?

Anonymous said...

Very funny! Like Freudian slips of the computer.

Chris said...

The comedic value of that software is worth the purchase price, I'm sure.

Katrina said...

So yeah, it's a really old post, but I figured I had to comment.

We use a dictation software where I work, in Financial Services. There've been a few good ones, but My fave 2 were:

"We will sell X Investment and move the proceeds into The Black Magic."

Not sure what kind of returns you can get there...

"Thank you for coming in this afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Turkey Dick."

Oh, technology.....

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