Friday, October 16, 2009

It's Happened! In My Lifetime! Hallelujah!

Ladies and Gentleman, one of the most horrible, awful, traumatic diseases in history HAS BEEN CURED!

Kapidex is a rehash of Prevacid, a drug used to treat gastric reflux (that's a fancy name for heartburn, huh?)

But Kapidex also treats Non-Erosive Reflux Disease. AKA NERD!!!

(click to enlarge)

There you go! Nerdhood, one of the most socially debilitating diseases known to man, has been CURED!

To give credit where credit is due: this breakthrough wouldn't have been possible without the 1970's efforts of renowned researchers H. Winkler and A. Fonzarelli to bring the condition to widespread public attention.

The data is preliminary, and hopefully more information will be forthcoming. Will the drug cause one to grow a leather jacket? Or make hair follicles part themselves differently? Or alter one's taste in music to something other than "Men Without Hats Greatest Hit?"

And, most importantly, can the drug be dissolved in Diet Coke (uh, not that I'd personally have a reason to want to know that).

(Many thanks to my reader Jason, who sent me the PI for the drug)


Amanda said...

Oh holy crap, I was eating a cookie (Mrs. Fields -- 2 boxes for $5.00!!) and nearly choked on it.

You'd think I'd have learned by now.

80'S geek said...

Hey I like that one hit wonder

Tassiegal said...

Thats GOOD. Have you seen these?

very relevent given todays post!

yay said...

Heh aint no tablet that can cure my chronic treatment-resistant nerdiness!

I think it's an interesting drug name, given that Capadex is a brand of paracetamol(acetaminophen)/dextropropoxyphene in Australia. There is potential for some disappointed Australian migraineurs on holidays in the US.

Ron said...

I'll stick to Nexium - I can't let the nerd in me go.

The Bendsl Man said...

Not to rain on your parade, but anyone who watches TV commercials knows that there's been a wonder drug around for years that cures this condition. It's called "beer." Sadly, most insurance plans don't cover it. And you definitely want to buy the name brand product and not the generic.

The Mother said...

I have four boys who consider themselves proud GEEKS. The new generation eschews the word "Nerd,"so someone in the PR department has not done his homework.

Or maybe it only works on the over forty crowd.

Anonymous said...

If I take it will I get chicks? Like, in boatloads?

Lipstick said...

My goodness! What a novel PPI! Can you imagine the prior auth form? "34 yo old male resides in parent's basement, chronic player of Dungeons and Dragons presented to office wearing plaid pants and pocket protector...."

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