Wednesday, December 2, 2009

How Hard Is This To Understand?

Okay. Your epilepsy has been stable for over 20 years. In fact, I only see you once a year for it, and refill your Tegretol while we chat about sports, weather, whatever.

Your medication dose hasn't changed since the 80's, back before I even went to med school.

I write you a new script once a year, that you fax to your mail-order pharmacy.

Normally I see you in January, but you had to move up your appointment since you'll be out of town next month. So you asked me to date your next Tegretol script for January 1, 2010, and you won't send it in until then. Fine. I did just that.

So, after I've given you a post-dated script DON'T FAX IT TO YOUR FREAKING PHARMACY WITHIN AN HOUR OF LEAVING MY OFFICE!!!

Now I've got the pharmacist calling, wondering if I'm demented and don't know the date (not an unreasonable thought). I'm pretty sure he doesn't think you have some sort of special time-traveling fax machine at home.

So don't do it again. Put the script on your refrigerator and don't cash it in until January 1, 2010 LIKE YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD and we'll all be happy.

Thank you.

Memories...

The peanut post got me thinking...

When I was doing my internal medicine residency, another doc in my class was a girl named Christine. She was just doing a 1 year internship before going on to radiology.

She was a good person, and a good doc. But she was a HORRIBLE black cloud. Bad luck just followed her and her patients, in spite of the fact that she took damn good care of them.

She just had remarkably shitty luck. When she was on call, her service would always max out with admissions, and they were all really sick. Codes would occur. Her patients seemed to die more often then anyone else's. And, again, this was just bad luck. She was a good doc, just always seemed to get the sickest patients.

After the first 6 months of this, she was so burned out that she needed a vacation, and booked a cruise.

On the first night of her cruise, the guy sitting next to her at dinner collapsed and died from a peanut allergy.

How To Irritate Your Neurologist

Dr. Grumpy: "Any allergies?"

Mr. Cereal: "Nuts... Hey, do you know it's safe for me to eat Honey-Nut Cheerios?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Umm..."

Mr. Cereal: "I mean, I know it says 'nut' in the name, but I wasn't sure if they really have nuts in them, or if they just say that".

Dr. Grumpy: "Have you read the ingredient list on the side of the box?"

Mr. Cereal: "No, why?"


Obviously, I'm allergic to nuts, too, of a sort...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Tuesday Morning Patient Quote

"Sometimes, when I really hurt, I stop breathing. I mean, like, for hours, literally. It hurts so bad I just stop breathing. After my car accident I went 2 weeks without breathing."

This is the Dawning of the Age of Extavia

(I am not a marketing person. I don't have the personality, or the mindset, or the training. So this story only barely makes sense to me. I'm sure the marketing or business people out there will tell me this is perfectly logical).

Extavia!

Isn't that a great name?

I have to wonder how much they paid the person who thought it up. It has a cool ring and the letters "X" and "V" (according to my friends who do sales, these, along with "Z", are considered "power letters", and putting them in words is supposed to connote something impressive).

With a name like that you'd think the drug was new, powerful, groundbreaking.

Extavia! NEW! For Multiple Sclerosis!

Released to the neurology world recently with hoopla, ads, drug rep lunches, etc.

Would you believe that Extavia is over 15 years old, and is being used to launch a drug that isn't even on the market yet?

Here's the story: Betaseron (Beta Interferon 1b) has been on the U.S market since the early 90's. It was the first drug ever approved for MS, and certainly is a decent drug. I prescribe my share of it. It's manufactured by Bayer.

Novartis, another pharmaceutical company, is developing a new MS drug, which it hopes to bring to market in the next 6-18 months.

But Novartis has no MS drug currently out there (though they do have 3 big neurological ones under patent). So they decided that, to get a foot in the MS marketing door now, they should hire a bunch of new reps (though they already have a fairly well-trained neurology sales force), and train them to market MS drugs. This is hard to do when you don't have one.

So they bought a license from Bayer to sell Betaseron, too, to get their reps some practice. But, since they didn't want to market plain old, early-90's Betaseron, they renamed it Extavia! New name! New marketing! Same drug! Same dosing! Same everything except the name (actually, I think the price is slightly lower)!

And, of course, Betaseron is still on the market. In fact, Bayer is making all the Extavia, too. So Bayer is likely going to clean up on the deal, since they get paid regardless of which gets prescribed.

I suspect Novartis will not make money on this, and is using Extavia as a loss leader, hoping to make the money back when the new drug comes out in a year or two.

On the one hand, I think it's good that they're hiring a new sales force to sell Extavia and future drug. Certainly, jobs are good for the economic recovery.

But on the other hand, it still seems kind of silly to me. Like I said, though, I'm not a marketing person.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Cyber Monday- The Deals Continue

For those of you who thought my Wii Fit Plus deal ($19.99 marked down to $19.96) wasn't good enough...

My reader Khym submitted this, even better, Wii deal!

(click to enlarge)



And a great big Dr. Grumpy thank you to Khym!

Thanks, I Didn't Think of That

I sent a patient to physical therapy for his back pain a few weeks ago.

The therapy place sent over a summary note on him just now.

It ended with this line:

"Recommendation: Patient was told not to do things that make his back hurt."

Concerned Parent

I know you're pregnant, ma'am, and I understand your concerns about not wanting to take a medication because it might harm your baby. I don't prescribe pills just for the hell of it, and try to weigh the risks and benefits.

But DON'T tell me that you're worried about the effects of the pills on a fetus when you just told me you smoke a freakin' pack a day, okay?

Cyber Monday Shopping

WOW! These online deals today are great! Look at how much money I can save buying "Wii Fit Plus" today!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

What Part of "Closed" Are We Not Getting Here?

Look, people, I know the 4-day Thanksgiving weekend is still in force, but we are on the last day here.

And I don't mind you calling me for legitimate emergencies. It's part of the job, and I signed up for it.

My office message still says "We're closed, please call back during regular office hours for routine matters."

So please stop leaving messages like:

"Hi, are you open today?"

"I thought it was Monday, isn't it?"

"Can someone call me with your phone number?" (DUH! YOU JUST CALLED ME!)

"Is my MRI on Thursday or Friday?"

"Did I miss my appointment 2 weeks ago?"

"Can I find your office on Mapquest?"

"What kind of doctor is Dr. Grumpy?"

"Can I have my driver's license back so I can go Christmas shopping?"


At 8:30 a.m. tomorrow morning the phones will be rolled back, and you can start hassling Mary and Annie for questions about your tests, appointments, insurance authorizations, good shopping deals, safe ways to hang lights, and a myriad of other questions.

Thank you.

In Line at Starbucks

Mrs. Grumpy wanted to stop at Starbucks last night after dinner.


Guy in line: "I can't decide, they all sound good".

Counter girl: "We have the new Caramal Brulee' Latte' you might like. It's really good. Have you ever had creme brulee'?

Guy in line: "No".

Counter girl: "Well, creme brulee' tastes just like the Caramel Brulee' Latte does, um, if you, uh, knew what it tastes like, I mean."


Then I got up there.


Dr. Grumpy: "I'd like a polar bear cookie."

Counter girl: "They're good. We used to have them for other holidays, too, I mean, at least ones where polar bears are part of the theme."

Okay... How many other holidays with polar bears in the theme are there?

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Brains and Butchers

This morning I went looking for a decent brain picture for the shirts. I couldn't find anything I liked in Google images, so I dug out and dusted off my old neuroanatomy textbook.

I'd forgotten this line (but it's hard to miss) in the book's first section:

"The fixed brain is serially sliced into 4mm sections on a Hobart Model 410 rotary-blade, electrically-driven, commercial meat slicer."

Think of that next time you're watching your local butcher use one of those things.

This Morning, At The Hospital...

Had to go in to see a patient.

As I got out of my car in the doctor's lot, I passed another doc who was leaving. He had a bumper sticker that said "Driver is medicated for your safety".

It's scary enough to see this on another doc's car. What's even worse is that he's a psychiatrist.

Friday Night, 10:35 p.m.

"Hi, I saw Dr. Grumpy in 2007 or so, and had hurt my neck back then, and physical therapy helped. Anyway, I hurt it today carrying a bunch of boxes that my wife just HAD to get on Black Friday, and some asshole pushed me out of the way in the Wal-Mart toy section, and so I'd like to get some more therapy. It's hurting a lot right now, and I thought maybe there was a 24-hour therapy place you could send me to. Also, my internist said I'm due for a cholesterol panel, and something else to check my liver because I take a pill for my cholesterol, it's one with a long name, and maybe you could order those labs for me, too."
 
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