I'm in a Zoom meeting and the screen keeps locking up.
Dr. Grumpy: "Are you guys having problems? My office wifi sucks."
Mr. Rumack: "Yeah, why don't you just switch to audio and call my direct 800 number."
Dr. Grumpy: "That's fine, what is it?"
Mr. Rumack: "Uh, an 800 number is a long-distance line that lets you dial in at no charge."
Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, I'm Dr. Grumpy. Have a seat. Now..."
Mr. Ross: "Hello. Are you happy and well today?"
Dr. Grumpy: "As much as I'll ever be. So what can I do for you?"
Mr. Ross: "You mean you're not happy and well today?"
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm fine, thank you. What brings you in to see me?"
Mr. Ross: "Perhaps I can help. Here's a free copy of my self-help book, called 'Are You Happy and Well Today?' "
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, thank you, but back to..."
Mr. Ross: "I've self-published it, and it's available on Amazon. You can get a discount for bulk orders if you want to give out copies to your patients, or put them out in the lobby. It's also available on Kindle and as an audiobook, read by me."
Dr. Grumpy: "Thanks, but let's get back to your appointment. What..."
Mr. Ross: "You don't seem very happy today."
"More than once I was at the station seeing trainloads of Jews being
transported, seeing all these faces over the top of the wagon. I
remember, very sharply, one little boy standing with his parents on the
platform, very pale, very blond, wearing a coat that was much too big
for him, and he stepped on the train. I was a child observing a child."
"We saw young men put against the wall and shot, and they'd close the street and then open it, and you could pass by again... Don't discount anything awful you hear or read about the Nazis. It's worse than you could ever imagine."
- Audrey Hepburn (1929-1993) on living in the Netherlands during the Nazi occupation.
Here in the frigid Midwestern winter, soup is always popular. Currently it's just Mrs. Grumpy and I, so it makes for an easy dinner. Heat up the soup, put out a baguette, and we're good.
Today I noticed our favorite brand of soup was on sale at a good price, but, as usual, you could only buy 6 cans per person.
We have this down to a science. We each have the store's app on our phone and clip the digital coupon. I go to the store with 2 re-usable bags, fill each one with 6 cans, and then check out twice, using a different phone number each time (which is what everyone else does, too).
I went over to the soup aisle. The only other person getting soup was some crone in a robe and slippers who looked like she'd escaped from the day room.
So I picked out 6 cans and set one bag in the cart, then started to fill the second bag. I'd put one can in it when...
The Crone: "You have 7 cans."
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah."
The Crone: "The limit is 6 cans."
Dr. Grumpy: "Am I not allowed to buy more?"
The Crone: "You can only get 6 on the sale price. You have 7. I can count, you know."
Dr. Grumpy: "Look, there is no limit to how many cans I can buy, just how many I can get at the lower price."
I turned away, picked out another can. The Crone kept glaring at me. I began to wonder where her orderly was.
The Crone: "I know what you're doing."
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm buying soup. Do you work here?"
The Crone: "No, but you don't fool me. I'm watching you. I know your type."
"What matters most is how children feel about their uniqueness once they do begin to realize that they are different from everyone else. How each one of us comes to feel about our individual uniqueness has a strong influence on how we feel about everyone's uniqueness - whether we grow into adults who rejoice in the diversity of the world's people or into adults who fear and resent that diversity."
- Fred Rogers (1928-2003)
