Here in the frigid Midwestern winter, soup is always popular. Currently it's just Mrs. Grumpy and I, so it makes for an easy dinner. Heat up the soup, put out a baguette, and we're good.
Today I noticed our favorite brand of soup was on sale at a good price, but, as usual, you could only buy 6 cans per person.
We have this down to a science. We each have the store's app on our phone and clip the digital coupon. I go to the store with 2 re-usable bags, fill each one with 6 cans, and then check out twice, using a different phone number each time (which is what everyone else does, too).
I went over to the soup aisle. The only other person getting soup was some crone in a robe and slippers who looked like she'd escaped from the day room.
So I picked out 6 cans and set one bag in the cart, then started to fill the second bag. I'd put one can in it when...
The Crone: "You have 7 cans."
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah."
The Crone: "The limit is 6 cans."
Dr. Grumpy: "Am I not allowed to buy more?"
The Crone: "You can only get 6 on the sale price. You have 7. I can count, you know."
Dr. Grumpy: "Look, there is no limit to how many cans I can buy, just how many I can get at the lower price."
I turned away, picked out another can. The Crone kept glaring at me. I began to wonder where her orderly was.
The Crone: "I know what you're doing."
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm buying soup. Do you work here?"
The Crone: "No, but you don't fool me. I'm watching you. I know your type."
18 comments:
"I've seen your type before. Flashy, making the scene, flouting convention."
Ah ha. Yet more yak herder insights into life on the west side of the pond, Keep it up Grumpy!
That’s soups not gonna taste very good you know I think you do know.
"Your menu says 'soup du jour,' but I know that means 'soup of the day,' and it's already after sundown. I don't know what shenanigans you're trying to pull here, but I'm onto you!"
So, she's shaming food hoarders. Who among us isn't still hanging onto one or two old COVID behaviors?
That's why I switched to painting Mao Tse-Tung. Much less hassle.
911. "I have a mentally ill person in the store". OK, that's probably too harsh, and as a physician you'd want to be careful of such statements. But it's tempting..... maybe do it with the phone off....dial 912.
Did she keep the mustache? (Soup Nazi)
This is one of my favorite quotes. It’s from the movie “Miss Potter’.
“I am no longer in the habit of being lectured to, and, thankfully, I do not require your approval or anyone else's.”
What really sets us apart from competitors like Groupon is our extensive network of volunteer enforcers.
On a cold Midwestern winter day, nothing hits the spot like a nice piping hot bowl of our famous New Englad Clam Chowder. That combination of Velveeta, Oscar Mayer bologna, Spaghetti-O's, and cinnamon is magical.
Did you know Diet Coke was on sale also? Shoulda brought more bags.
Chances are she was a witch and she put a curse on you. If the soup burns the roof of your mouth, that's why :)
"I know what you're thinking. Did he put six cans of soup in his cart, or seven? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is Campbell's Cream of Bacon, with 9g of fat and 750mg of sodium per serving, and 2.5 servings per can, you've got to ask yourself one question- 'do I feel lucky?' Well, do you, punk?"
"I may look like a withered old crone now, but not long ago I was a beautiful princess. Until I tried to buy 7 soup cans and awakened the soup troll, who put a curse on me."
SHY GYPSY, SLYLY SPRYLY TRYST BY MY CRYPT
Six! Six soup cans! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!
Seven! Seven soup cans! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!
Don’t you know anything in a can is bad for you? Ask that old lady. She knows all.
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