Mrs. Lost: "Hi, I have an appointment with Dr. Grumpy, but I think I'm in the wrong suite."
Mary: "No, you're in the right place. Let me get you some forms..."
Mrs. Lost: "But Dr. Grumpy is in suite 608."
Mary: "This is suite 608. You found us! So if you can fill out..."
Mrs. Lost: "This isn't suite 608. It's 407."
Mary: "No, it's 608. You can see it on the door there."
Mrs. Lost: "When did you move to 407?"
Mary: "We didn't. Can I get a copy of your insurance card?"
Mrs. Lost: "Coming to the doctor is so confusing."
10 comments:
I would think that was the first indication why they need a neurologist. Dementia, or Alzheimers, or something.
"You want 12A next door. This is Abuse."
On the bright side, I imagine that government accountants have pretty good health insurance.
Poor old dear!
Poor thing. Hope you can help her, G. She needs it!
Can you diagnose based on this confusion?
I coulda sworn my appointment was in 608 because six is the number of the cats I have (no, there are four, now) and zero is my lucky number, and seven is eight minus one for the cats I used to have, though actually three are gone, now, but it's the fifth of March, so I should have gone to 605. Actually, today is the seventh of March. By the way, when was it that you moved? Hmm. I wonder how I got to the right floor. Well, I pushed the button on the elevator because it said 407. I am here, and it is Wednesday? Yes. I am pretty sure I have seen you before.
I sorta understand. Too many brains. I don't know what to do with them all.
She needs you.
You know, I always wondered that your patient population is kind of weird and maybe there’s poetic license in there somewhere too.
But I started my own practice recently, and I must say, all your stories are 100% true...
A brief example from my latest: “doc I can’t sleep. It’s the vyvanse. It’s making me feel like crap. My heart just races constantly. I need that clonidine.”
“Hm. Okay. Let’s think about that. Do you drink any coffee?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s all I drink. All day. It keeps me awake because I can’t sleep at night.”
“Hm yes okay well I think I know why your heart is racing and you can’t sleep at night.”
“You don’t think it’s all that coffee I drink, do you???”
"I can't sleep I'm up every 2 hours gotta pee you gotta help."
"What can I do for you?"
"You gotta give me a sleeping pill."
Actual patient conversation.
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