Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Mary's desk

Mary: "Hi, can I help you?"

Mrs. Lost: "Hi, I have an appointment with Dr. Grumpy, but I think I'm in the wrong suite."

Mary: "No, you're in the right place. Let me get you some forms..."

Mrs. Lost: "But Dr. Grumpy is in suite 608."

Mary: "This is suite 608. You found us! So if you can fill out..."

Mrs. Lost: "This isn't suite 608. It's 407."

Mary: "No, it's 608. You can see it on the door there."

Mrs. Lost: "When did you move to 407?"

Mary: "We didn't. Can I get a copy of your insurance card?"

Mrs. Lost: "Coming to the doctor is so confusing."


Randallw said...

I would think that was the first indication why they need a neurologist. Dementia, or Alzheimers, or something.

Officer Cynical said...

"You want 12A next door. This is Abuse."

Anonymous said...

On the bright side, I imagine that government accountants have pretty good health insurance.

bobbie said...

Poor old dear!

Ms. Donna said...

Poor thing. Hope you can help her, G. She needs it!

Unknown said...

Can you diagnose based on this confusion?

Anonymous said...

I coulda sworn my appointment was in 608 because six is the number of the cats I have (no, there are four, now) and zero is my lucky number, and seven is eight minus one for the cats I used to have, though actually three are gone, now, but it's the fifth of March, so I should have gone to 605. Actually, today is the seventh of March. By the way, when was it that you moved? Hmm. I wonder how I got to the right floor. Well, I pushed the button on the elevator because it said 407. I am here, and it is Wednesday? Yes. I am pretty sure I have seen you before.

I sorta understand. Too many brains. I don't know what to do with them all.

Mage said...

She needs you.

Anonymous said...

You know, I always wondered that your patient population is kind of weird and maybe there’s poetic license in there somewhere too.

But I started my own practice recently, and I must say, all your stories are 100% true...

A brief example from my latest: “doc I can’t sleep. It’s the vyvanse. It’s making me feel like crap. My heart just races constantly. I need that clonidine.”
“Hm. Okay. Let’s think about that. Do you drink any coffee?”
“Oh, yeah, that’s all I drink. All day. It keeps me awake because I can’t sleep at night.”
“Hm yes okay well I think I know why your heart is racing and you can’t sleep at night.”
“You don’t think it’s all that coffee I drink, do you???”

Anonymous said...

"I can't sleep I'm up every 2 hours gotta pee you gotta help."
"What can I do for you?"
"You gotta give me a sleeping pill."
Actual patient conversation.

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