Here's an offer for an artisanal vacation to Portland, Oregon. I have no idea how an entire trip can be artisanal. Is the plane rustic? (that doesn't sound safe, does it?). Is the rental car handcrafted? (yes, by giant sheet-steel-bending robots). You also get to "blend your own tea." Hell, I can do that with a large mug and a Keurig - at home.
Sara Lee, the McD's of grocery store bread, now has:
Not to be outdone, a mass-produced frozen pizza crust is now, what else,
But why stop at grocery store pizza crust? If you make over 10 million tortillas a year around the globe, doesn't that qualify them as artisanal? And what's "artisan style" anyway? What a person would make if they were made of metal and could manufacture 3000 tortillas an hour?
After a hard day handcrafting fish, you're probably going to want to blow off steam at the gym. And where better to go than...
Regardless of what they're making, even artisans need to invest money for retirement. And where better to do that than in an artisanal mutual fund?
14 comments:
Do all the folks in charge of "artisanal" stuff drink pumpkin spiced coffee and eat pumpkin spiced cereal?
We only carry artisanal medications at Goofmart Pharmacy, btw.
Regarding the tortillas, I bet that every 10th tortilla has a picture of Jesus on it.
The Portland trip includes "$500 to dine out." Is that handmade artisanal currency?
In some sections of Portland, that would just about cover one artisanal meal. I live 40 miles south, in Salem, where we can't afford lifestyles, we just have non-artisanal lives.
Portland is a fun place to visit, but sometimes it takes itself and its commitment to "weird" and "artisanal" a bit too seriously. Like its professionally weird. Down south here, we just get all the unwanted weirdos: in prisons (yep, that's plural), the state mental hospital and of course, the legislature!
My sibling's results of a lineage test: "Your DNA test results show that you belong to haplogroup R1b, The Artisans." I guess that means I'm probably artisanal, too. Sorry.
I had artisanal diarrhea once after eating a hand-crafted, artisanal omelet.
tbunni, fellow Salemite here. I agree with everything you say.
The plane to Portland is a clapped out DC-3 last used by the forest service to transport fire crews.
You're definitely going to want to go to the gym after eating all that bread and pizza crust and tortillas. But is that guy in the photo the artisan, and are the Indian clubs he's holding the tools that he's going to use on you?
Tbunni & Michelle - I agree about Portland. Started there (no choice), moved to Scappoose, and finally left the state altogether. But on my next visit I really want to eat at the Cultured Caveman.
Glad I missed the artisanal trip to Portland, Oregon, as I live in one of its suburbs.
LOL
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