Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Nice try

I'm at the nursing station, writing a note. A nurse comes over.

Nurse: "Hi, Dr. Grumpy. A family member for room 8 is on the line and wants to talk to you."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay" (picks up phone) "This is Dr. Grumpy."

Mr. Little: "Hi, you were just in to see my brother, in room 8? How's he doing?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Seems to be getting better, I think he'll do well with time and physical therapy."

Mr. Little: "Is there anything I should know that you haven't told him?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No, I've gone over things pretty thoroughly."

Mr. Little: "There must be some secrets you're keeping from him that we need to be aware of."

Dr. Grumpy: "No there aren't."

Mr. Little: "I think..." (coughs)

Oddly, the patient in room 8 is heard coughing at the same time.

Dr. Grumpy: "Who is this again?"

Mr. Little: "I'm Dave, the brother of the guy in room 8."

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, I..."

Guy on phone and patient in room 8 both have another coughing spell.

Dr. Grumpy: (sighs) "Mr. Little, I'm not hiding anything from you."

Mr. Little: "I told you! I'm not Mr. Little! I'm my brother!"


Anonymous said...

Having just endured the hospitalization of my father for a week, I have to sympathise with Mr. Little. Excellent care and the worst imaginable communication, including a doctor who laughed when we expressed concern about my father's mobility issues.

Anonymous said...

"Well, okay, technically I'm my brother-in-law, but that's close enough, isn't it?"

Anonymous said...

Hmm... so, how would one tell a patient about a diagnosis for Capgras?

Anonymous said...

He's not heavy, he's his brother.

Anonymous said...

"This is the police. We've traced the call, and it's coming from INSIDE the hospital!!! You have to get out of there immediately!!!"

Hattie said...

Reminds me of that old song, "I'm my own grandpa."

Anonymous said...

forget it, jake. it's chinatown.

Anonymous said...

My daughter has two children, Emma and Jacob. One day, she called home and Jacob, aged 5 answered. My daughter said, 'Hi Jacob' He answered..No, I'm Emma.'. My daughter laughed and they argued for a few minutes over if he was Emma or Jacob. Finally, my daughter said...'What's your whole name?' He answered...Emma Kenneth Smith.'

Anonymous said...

'Hold on, It sounds like I need to go perform a Heimlich. Don't go away.'

Moose said...

You work in a Borscht Belt Hospital?!

Zed said...

Didn't see that coming

Shash said...

I have experienced a doctor not telling me everything (needless to say, not my doc no more) so I do understand his concern. But his slip of the tongue is priceless. Thanks for the laugh.

(Most docs don't fall into the deliberately omitting information category; I consider her a one-off.)

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