Friday, May 15, 2015
Patient quote du jour
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"I'm allergic to any and all manufactured products, regardless of what it is or what it's made from."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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16 comments:
So, I'm assuming this patient didn't arrive in a manufactured car or wear any manufactured clothes?
You should refer her to your artisinal page. She could probably make use of some of the fine hand crafted products there.
Hats off to you for not falling on the floor laughing. Does zyrtec cover this allergy?
Too bad antihistamines are manufactured.
Expanding on the first comment, can we assume that this patient walked to your office and was nude? Then again, how did he or she enter the building without touching the manufactured door knobs or handles? And did they stand in your waiting room to keep from sitting on the manufactured furniture? And finally, your examination must have been very difficult if you weren't able to use manufactured medical tools or instruments.
In medical terms, this is what we refer to as a "nutball".
Were you treating her for senile dementia? I'd tell her "Good luck with that."
But is she more or less annoying than Mrs. Crass from yesterday?
I have the same problem, and am even allergic to the bubble I live in.
Sincerely,
Bubble Grammy
I'm allergic to stupid. Unfortunately, this means I'm sneezing all the time.
I had a pt. who said eating apples was against his religion. What religion I asked."All religions" he said.
"Which is why I can't sit on toilets. Just in case you're wondering about your bathroom floor."
So I assume that he doesnt have any issues with anything natural, such as poison ivy, nightshade, cyanide etc?
So does this patient live naked in a cave, and pay you in wild animals?
Grumpy:
Wow! Life must be rough for this one, with all that random manufacturing of houses, food and clothing.
Must be suffering a bad case of Ludditetitis.
I think I saw this patient this week
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