Today, as I was leaving for the day, I was accosted in the parking lot by a wild-eyed mom.
Wild- Eyed Mom: "DO YOU WORK HERE?!!!"
Mrs. Grumpy: "Um, yes..."
Wild-Eyed Mom: "YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME! MY SON IS MISSING! PLEASE!"
I text the twins I'll be a few minutes late. I take her to my office, turn the computer back on to get records (which takes effing forever, thanks Windows), and dial up a security guard to come help.
Mrs. Grumpy: "Okay, what's his name?"
Wild-Eyed Mom (hysterical, but trying to calm down) "Claude Rains."
Mrs. Grumpy: "All right, let me see if any reports are in... When did you last hear from him?"
Wild-Eyed Mom: "When he got home from school."
Mrs. Grumpy: "Wait... So he's already been home?"
Wild-Eyed Mom: "Yes. He got home from school, and was watching TV, and I went to go shower. When I came out he was gone!"
Mrs. Grumpy: "Okay, so you came back to the school even though you knew he'd gotten home safely from there?"
Wild-Eyed Mom: "Yes! Isn't this what you people do?"
Before I could answer the computer stopped searching.
Mrs. Grumpy: "You said Claude Rains? We don't have a Claude Rains in the database."
Wild-Eyed Mom: "Oh... He just texted me. He's back home now. He went to help a friend who had a flat bike tire. What did you say?"
Mrs. Grumpy: "He's not in our database."
Wild-Eyed Mom: "Well, he doesn't go to this school."
Mrs. Grumpy: "Then why..."
Wild-Eyed Mom: "He goes to Daniel Simpson Day Middle School."
Mrs. Grumpy: "That's not even in this district... Why did you come here? Do you live nearby?"
Wild-Eyed: "No, I figured you guys had better computers and stuff that could find him."
Mrs. Grumpy: "We..."
Wild-Eyed: "Obviously, I was wrong. I wish you'd have just told me that in the first place."