Due to the number of cases of head lice that crop up over the course of the school year, I'd like to make some recommendations based on my experiences.
1. There are several reputable products that remove lice. Gasoline, wood varnish, and Draino are not among them. While I'm sure Draino did get rid of them, you now have a meeting with a state agency.
2. Chiropractic manipulation will not make the lice go away, regardless of what Dr. Cracker may have told you.
3. Rubbing garlic on your child's head will not harm the lice, though it may protect them from vampires, werewolves, and pretty much anything with a nose.
4. Having your kid drink Red Bull, hoping she'll run around more and make the lice fall off, will not get you anything but sleep-deprived. And I will call you to come take your moth home until she reverts to a child.
5. Bringing kids to my office and demanding I "do something" will only get you a list of products. I don't carry them here. The district doesn't even cover bandages, FFS (yes, I have to buy those myself, thanks, Governor). I don't have a magic wand.
6. Local Pharmacy is not going to give you lice-removal products for free. Saying your kid caught them at a public school, their store, or on a school bus will not change that. Neither will asking them to call me to try and bill the school district for them.
7. Screaming, yelling, and blaming the school, the teachers, other parents, other kids, "those Arab people near the bus stop," the President, and society in general will not change the fact that your precious has lice, and you have to deal with it. In spite of this, I'd have to say it appears to be the most common method of dealing with the situation.
8. Threatening to scare lice off by shooting firearms near junior will only result in me calling the state. And the lice won't care.
9. If you choose to shave them bald, the school is not responsible for other kids making fun of them.
10. Calling your pediatrician for Amoxicillin will not help. They may laugh at you.
This has been a public service announcement.
For an even better PSA involving lice, read this, by the Skeptical OB.