One day Sadie, who lives down the hall, comes over. "Jake," she says, "tomorrow the group bus is going over to see that new movie, and I'd like to go. But I haven't been to a movie since my husband died, and I'm nervous about going alone. Will you go as my date?"
Jake thinks for a moment. "You know, I haven't seen a movie since my wife died. I'd like to... But I have a request. Whenever we'd go to movies, I'd unzip, and my wife would hold my winkie during the film. Would you do that for me?"
Sadie thinks about it. "Why not? We're both in our 80's. What have I got to lose?" So they go to the theater, she holds his penis for the whole 90 minutes, and they both have a good time.
This goes on for the next several months, at every Wednesday movie outing.
Then, one day, Sadie calls to make sure they're on for that afternoon's trip, but Jake can't go. "I have a cold, Sadie. Sorry."
And the next time. "Sadie, I have a doctor's appointment."
And the next: "Oh, Sadie. I can't. I have to wash my hair."
"Jake, you don't have hair."
"I mean, the hair on my back."
This continues for another few weeks. Finally, Sadie confronts Jake outside the day room.
Sadie: "Jake, what's really going on? Why aren't you going to the movies with me anymore? No excuses."
Jake: "I... I've been going to them with Irma instead. I didn't know how to tell you without hurting your feelings."
Sadie: "IRMA? In room 507? Why? What does Irma have that I don't?"
Jake: "Parkinson's disease."
19 comments:
You are such an insensitive asshole, and I'm glad you're not my doctor.
^ damn. Wow. The guy has a blog, which you go to. YOU came HERE. You chose to come here, and read this. Did I say it often enough to sink in? He didn't corner you at a dinner party. He didn't email it to you. He didn't yell it down the phone in the cubicle next to you and therefore force you to hear it - It's obviously touched a parkinsonian raw nerve, but it's possible to have some pretty awful experience with this thoroughly sh*t condition and still see the humour in this. I did.
Now - I doubt very much this dude/chicks unsolicited opinion ruined your day Dr G, but I appreciate your blog, and have read it for awhile. Thanks for your efforts! Cheers.
Maryann with the shaky hands. What they do to a man, those sha-a-a-aky hands.
Jake and Sadie!!! Did you read 11/22/63???
Oddly, no. I just had to look that up. Those names were in the joke when a patient told it to me. Maybe she did.
Did NOT see that coming. :-)
As for Anonymous at 6:39 AM... you are a humorless asshole and I'm glad I don't have to deal with you in real life.
Sheesh, Anonymous 6:39-- Obviously you read this blog, have you not figured out that healthcare workers stay somewhat sane with "gallows" humor? Take your self-righteousness elsewhere.
I knew we were all going to hell, if we read this blog long enough.
Now to cut and paste to send to friends and family.
I needed a good laugh, having been so sick of late. Thanks.
Every cloud has a silver lining for somebody!
When I was in med school, a young male student was doing his first GYN exam on a patient. Room full of females-- patient, supervisor, other med student, and this one poor guy.
As he reached toward the comfortable, relaxed patient with the speculum, his hand was obviously shaking. The patient looked at the supervisor and asked "Do I get charged extra for that?"
Well, If I'm gonna go to Hell, let it be for laughing at jokes like that.
I'll see your 'Parkinsons' and raise you 'crispy critter' jokes in an electrical substation.
MC
LOL
I needed that after the shift I just finished. Laughing out loud here! Thanks ^_^
I was one of the anonymous people (But not the 6:39 this morning) who did not like the golf guy's joke about the TBI pt.
However, i snorted my coffee with this one.
The difference - the first targeted a particular patient, this one is a generality.
I'm medical, I do have a sense of humour, and have made my share of jokes. but never against a specific patient. And I love this blog. HAs raised my spirits more than once.
I've actually heard this joke before; told to me by my friend Eric….who has Parkinsons.
Sometimes if you don't laugh you'll cry, and laughing is better for the soul.
LOL! BTW Lizard's was funny, too. Glad you have some entertaining audience participation.
LMAO! Hey, a guy has do what a guy has to do!
Good heavens I haven't heard that joke in 30 years. And I got it from my friend's father - a gynocologist.
After all this time, I still absolutely adore that joke. Anon 6:39 should read medical blogs perhaps. Or shouldn't read them if he hasn't taken his meds.
I was a bit slow on the uptake with this one, till I read the comments for enlightenment. Duh!! :p
My father-in-law has Parkinson's. I'm sending this to my partner right now so he can tell it to his dad, who will probably tell it to everybody in his retirement community by dinnertime!!!
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