Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Overheard in ER this weekend

Dr. Urgent: "What do you take for your asthma?"

Mr. Wheezy: "Methadone."

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't knock it. That shit works great.

Anonymous said...

Makes sense if it's for relief of dyspnea at end of life. Maybe not for regular old asthma. Wonder why the pt was in ER.

tbunni said...

Personally, I prefer Dilaud. Or Oxycontin. Oh, hell, just give me meth, heroin and alcohol. I'll be much better then....

jimbo26 said...

Whisky - it clears the sinuses . ;-)

Marc Cabot said...

It works on the same principle as the medicine a doctor gave me for my IBS. Principle ingredients: scopalamine, thorazine, and phenobarbital.

"If it hurts," he said, "Take one. If it still hurts, take another one and you won't care if it hurts or not."

Anonymous said...

"Wonder why the patient was in the ER"

Um, really?!?

Maybe he was coming in to get some regular-strength Tylenol for his pain...yeah, that's it.

bobbie said...

That's funny... I take methadone for my chronic sinusitis!
It is truly a wonder drug!

{said with tongue firmly planted in cheek}

awesomesauciness said...

"What do you take for hemorrhoids?"

"Methadone"

"What do you take for a cold?"

"Methadone"

"So, you say you take methadone for pretty much everything, right?"

"I wouldn't say that."

"Yes, you would...and did."

Anonymous said...

I have read this blog for several months. I have always found is hilarious. Recently I started seeing a Neurologist for chronic migraines and now i'm afraid my doctor is blogging too. I hope I'm not as dumb as some of your patients!

STL Pharmacist said...

Isn't Opioid Induced Respiratory Depression the preferred therapy for asthma under obamacare?

Anonymous said...

No, methadone will not help with any breathing problems. Indeedy. Not. At.All. All the people you could truly confirm that with are dead. From lack of respirations. (And, I hope that does not include Mr. Ed.)

RehabRN said...

I guess airway constriction would be the worst of his problems if he used too much methadone for his asthma.

Maybe I'll ask my allergist for this on my next visit...and I'll take a photo of his reaction, just for fun.

Some people...

 
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