Mr. Wheezy: "Methadone."
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Overheard in ER this weekend
Mr. Wheezy: "Methadone."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Dr. Urgent: "What do you take for your asthma?"
Mr. Wheezy: "Methadone."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Mr. Wheezy: "Methadone."
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
12 comments:
Don't knock it. That shit works great.
Makes sense if it's for relief of dyspnea at end of life. Maybe not for regular old asthma. Wonder why the pt was in ER.
Personally, I prefer Dilaud. Or Oxycontin. Oh, hell, just give me meth, heroin and alcohol. I'll be much better then....
Whisky - it clears the sinuses . ;-)
It works on the same principle as the medicine a doctor gave me for my IBS. Principle ingredients: scopalamine, thorazine, and phenobarbital.
"If it hurts," he said, "Take one. If it still hurts, take another one and you won't care if it hurts or not."
"Wonder why the patient was in the ER"
Um, really?!?
Maybe he was coming in to get some regular-strength Tylenol for his pain...yeah, that's it.
That's funny... I take methadone for my chronic sinusitis!
It is truly a wonder drug!
{said with tongue firmly planted in cheek}
"What do you take for hemorrhoids?"
"Methadone"
"What do you take for a cold?"
"Methadone"
"So, you say you take methadone for pretty much everything, right?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Yes, you would...and did."
I have read this blog for several months. I have always found is hilarious. Recently I started seeing a Neurologist for chronic migraines and now i'm afraid my doctor is blogging too. I hope I'm not as dumb as some of your patients!
Isn't Opioid Induced Respiratory Depression the preferred therapy for asthma under obamacare?
No, methadone will not help with any breathing problems. Indeedy. Not. At.All. All the people you could truly confirm that with are dead. From lack of respirations. (And, I hope that does not include Mr. Ed.)
I guess airway constriction would be the worst of his problems if he used too much methadone for his asthma.
Maybe I'll ask my allergist for this on my next visit...and I'll take a photo of his reaction, just for fun.
Some people...
Post a Comment