Monday, October 7, 2013
Quiz time
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A friend of mine was recently taking a practice test for the Emergency Medicine boards, and came across this question:
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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2013
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October
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- Fine, then call Google
- Dear Helen Keller Services for the Blind,
- Hmmm...
- Front counter
- Patient quote of the day
- Money changes everything
- Overheard at the Nurses Station
- Wrong Way Wooten
- Hmmmmm...
- Correct!
- Mary's desk
- Texting with Frank
- Monday night, 8:45 p.m.
- Weekend on call
- Today's lesson from Snowball
- Truth or Consequences
- Crossing over
- Crime in America
- Mary's desk, Tuesday afternoon
- I'd say you're doing pretty well
- Quiz time
- A day at my office
- Thursday afternoon
- Uh, Dan... on the screen behind you, Dan...
- Medical science marches on
- Still a few bugs in the system
- The Long and Winding Road
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October
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42 comments:
Hmmmm..... they offer so many good choices. I'm gonna go with E, but B runs a close second.
Definitely E!
F. Don't know .
If the ED is in Cook County, Illinois E is the only choice.
why is there no "all of the above" option?! Obviously a specific order would need to be planned out, but that sounds like a fun day in the ER.
Add F) Use the gun to assist the gang member in his departure into The Void.
MC
F. Sell the gun to help pay down your student debt.
The answer is obviously B. Duh.
There may not be an obvious answer to this question...
Most appropriate action according to who? :)
Do they tell you if the ER is on the 1st or 2nd floor? Because that would determine whether or not I picked B.
Anon at 8:08 - hahahahahaha, awesome!
Fortunately there is enough gang warfare all over the nation to allow any and all ER docs to try all of the answers to see which works best...repeatedly.
Oh, as someone who works in the ED in Cook County, IL, I totally concur with Anon. ;-)
Duh, shoot the patient when " he tries to escape"
@anon who works at Cook County. Obviously the gun is a figment of your imagination since guns are completely outlawed in Chicago.
All answers, including many not listed, are correct with the exception of "C".
For all the people choosing E - be sure to do A first.
They left out, shoot the members of the patient's gang who come to threaten to shoot you if you don't do a good job on the patient.
E. Go with E!!
F. See if the patient has any other cool stuff in his clothes.
F: Save it for the Joint Commission.
Officer Cynical is right in a meta sort of way, but the correct ans. is "C."
I am sure that some like Elli's answer, but that will attract the notice of law enforcement. We don't want to give Officer Cynical's compadres any trouble, do we?
Keep the muzzle of the weapon pointed to the floor, so not point it at anyone, stay away from the trigger, and above all do not let Grumpy or members of his tribe near it.
"Oh, I know all about it . . .KLBAM"
I think the more important question is....why would the ED physician be touching the patient's clothes? Never seen that in 20 years as an ED nurse.
F)Grab the gun, and shout "Imagonna pop a cap in yo' ass, mutha-fuckah" to no one in particular, just because you've always wanted to say that to someone to build your street cred, because you are one bad-ass ER mutha-fuckah.
Definitely E. I see a great sitcom idea here... "Bad-Ass ER Doc"???
Or in Detroit......So many good choices! (eye roll)
SkullCandy
Definitely "E", although "B" sounds like fun too.
B of course, but remember to take it with gloves, just to avoid being indicted
I don't see that this question has ONE correct answer, it depends on the training the person has.
C is an obvious answer but not the only one.
For someone who knows how to do so A then C makes a lot of sense. You probably don't have a way to lock it up, better to have an unloaded weapon laying around than a loaded one.
Ha! They left off my choice - use the gun to shoot the gangbanger screaming how dare you bring this crap into my ER.
Seriously, if you know how, A then C, duh.
F. Put on some latex gloves and go to town on all those assholes who've been pissing you off lately. Blame it on the gang member. After all, those are his fingerprints all over the gun. Chances are he'll have bled out and died by the time you get back anyway. Even if he hasn't, who are the authorities going to believe- a gang member or a doctor?
We're missing vital information! What is the gang affiliation of the ER doc? If the GSW victim is his compadre in crime, E would be obvious... If not, he'd be obligated to go with the un-written F mentioned above (use the gun to finish the job on the victim). The question is clearly incomplete.
D;, obviously. One can never have too many deniable weapons. (Poor thing, it must have followed me home..)
Totally unsurprised this was written by an EDMD. We are a little "different"; any one of my esteemed colleagues could have written this. Or me.
I like how they put extra spacing between B and C, and C and D. :P
E. Assuming the rival gang is those jackholes in Radiology. Now they are going to do things OUR WAY!
Thanks for the laugh.
Well this sort of questions that nail us mostly!
Yeah, because only urban gang members come to the ED with guns.....I've worked in some where half the staff was carrying.
Are all the questions on this test this easy??? If so, I could have been a doctor instead of just a paramedic.
B. Because then the other idiots in the hospital won't accidentally shoot anybody else.
I choose E
Do they always put extra space around the right answer?
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