Friday, October 25, 2013
Patient quote of the day
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"It was dark. I mean, pitch black. I was afraid I'd completely lost my vision and was blind. But then I found the light switch, and flipped it. That made everything fine, and I could see again."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
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Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2013
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October
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- Fine, then call Google
- Dear Helen Keller Services for the Blind,
- Hmmm...
- Front counter
- Patient quote of the day
- Money changes everything
- Overheard at the Nurses Station
- Wrong Way Wooten
- Hmmmmm...
- Correct!
- Mary's desk
- Texting with Frank
- Monday night, 8:45 p.m.
- Weekend on call
- Today's lesson from Snowball
- Truth or Consequences
- Crossing over
- Crime in America
- Mary's desk, Tuesday afternoon
- I'd say you're doing pretty well
- Quiz time
- A day at my office
- Thursday afternoon
- Uh, Dan... on the screen behind you, Dan...
- Medical science marches on
- Still a few bugs in the system
- The Long and Winding Road
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October
(27)
16 comments:
Quick! To the MRI mobile, Robin! A serious neurological miracle has occurred!
I've seriously woken up once, middle of the night, on a toilet, without seeing ANYTHING. The room could have been endlessly large and I felt disoriented too. It took a few seconds to realize that I was in a closed and truly pitchblack bathroom of a family member I was visiting, and suddenly the dimensions of the room came back in a rush. It was scary and cool, and has never happened since (I'm not usually so out of it when I wake at night).
That happened to my husband. Of course, both of his retinas had detached.
Oh my !! Were they re-attached ?
I thought Raymond Chandler had died long ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ScGPRsHSkaE
Yes, they were reattached with a scleral buckle and one is doing well, the other is still giving him issues. He'll probably be having his 5th and hopefully last eye surgery in November. It was scary for a while, we didn't know if he was going to be legally blind forever or not and I was getting really tired of being the only person who could drive in our house! So glad he can drive again.
"Which is kind of weird since it was the middle of the day."
"I must say, the advancements they've made in voodoo doll technology are remarkable."
"Anyway, you probably want to get someone to clean your bathroom floor."
"But then the guy I was about to eat put a towel over his head, and everything went black again."
"But just in case it's glaucoma, how about a prescription for some medical marijuana?"
"So now I'm thinking that, if I install some more light switches in my house, maybe I'll have X-ray vision like Superman."
"I don't think I'll ever be allowed back on Space Mountain, though."
He/She turned on the light switch and....wonder of wonders, He/She could suddenly see again. Sheesh!
It's a miracle build a shrine.
Darkness? Did he check to see if his eyes were open? I remember, pregnant with my first child, I was sleep-walking, or walk-sleeping. I heard the phone ring, or maybe it did not. (This was 35 years ago before phones went to voice-mail after x amount of rings.) I got up to answer it, but I couldn't find it, and thought I was getting closer in approaching as the ringing seemed louder, but just as it got to the 17th ring, the caller hung up. I found myself sitting at the table in front of the phone, 'feeling' for the phone on the wall, when I opened my eyes, I felt silly, and somewhat horrified that I had confused myself somewhere between sleep and alertness. And, was glad that I hadn't decided to fix supper at the same time.
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