Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Monday night, 8:45 p.m.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Mr. Quattro: "Hi, I'm a patient of Dr. Brain, and ran out of my pills. Can you call them in for me?"

Dr. Grumpy: "What pill is it?"

Mr. Quattro: "The tan one. It's from Dr. Brain."

Dr. Grumpy: "Do you know its name?"

Mr. Quattro: "It's on the Walmart $4 list. Does that help?"

12 comments:

Moose said...

My librarian friends complain about this, too. "I'm looking for that book. I think the cover might be red. There's a picture on the back cover. It might be of a man. Or maybe a woman."

Frantic Pharmacist said...

Ah, yes. I'm familiar.

Anonymous said...

Again, you missed a lot by skipping the clarivoyance/ESP/telepathy courses in med school...

Packer said...

Ah, that one ---don't worry you can go a few days without it.

Kim said...

Haha! I used to work in a call center (terrible job, but at least it was inbound, I wasn't an annoying telemarketer, people called me to place catalog orders ) and I would get calls that would go like this:

Me: Hello, how may I help you today?

Customer: I saw a pair of pants that I really liked in a magazine in a waiting room a few months ago. I'd like to order them.'.

Me: Certainly, do you have a catalog number?

Customer: Um, no - they were gray and looked really cool. Can I get them by tomorrow?

Crazy RxMan said...

I get the "It's white and round... don't YOU know what it is?"

Anonymous said...

Hitchhiking on Moose's comment, well it could have been a hemaphrodite and he/she takes the round white pill followed by the beige one too.

Are patients really this stupid? Hey, that must put us all in the running with our U.S. legislators then, yee hah.

Anonymous said...

I think I've convinced my husband I'm a genius thanks to that pill ID function in Epocrates.

He'll call me from the middle of an appointment with a specialist and ask what that pill his mom took ten years ago was.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he should just go to Walmart and buy some grapes:

http://www.snopes.com/photos/food/grapepill.asp

Anonymous said...

I guess you hung up before they got to the "cant you just look in my chart" comment that ususally follows this segemnt of patient interaction....

Anonymous said...

Hey Dr. we get the same problem at the pharmacy.

>Hi I'm here to get a refill on my prescription

>>Alright do you know the name of your medication?

>No.

>>Do you know what your medication is used for?

>I'm not sure. Isn't it your responsibility to have this all on file?

Anonymous said...

Variation on anon. at 3:00 PM. Patient says, "No, I don't know what it is used for. My doctor told me to take one every day, then make an appointment in 30 days." (But, when the pharmacist asked me if I had any questions when I had the prescription filled, I said 'no' because I'm sure the pharmacist doesn't know either.)

Little does the patient know that after 35 years in the pharmacy business, pharmacists can simply looking who/what/why is coming in the door, what is written on the prescription without looking, (as well as how adherent to prescribed therapy), but absolutely can NOT tell by just looking at a person, their name, date of birth, allergy information, address, phone number, etc. Especially, underline 'especially' pharmacists have NOT the foggiest idea of the specific carrier or ID number. But, we could make a good guess.

 
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