Mr. Cecum: "I've had a unilateral appendectomy."
Friday, October 18, 2013
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A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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2013
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October
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- Fine, then call Google
- Dear Helen Keller Services for the Blind,
- Hmmm...
- Front counter
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- Money changes everything
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- Hmmmmm...
- Correct!
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- Monday night, 8:45 p.m.
- Weekend on call
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- I'd say you're doing pretty well
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October
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13 comments:
Give that man a cee-gar!
I wonder what she actually meant because I'd be a little concerned about someone who had to have a bi-lateral one.
I hear the bilateral appy is hardly ever done anymore. Ha ha.
Makes sense. I've never heard of a bilateral one.
Unilateral, eh? Didn't even give the poor appy a chance to express its opinion, I'll wager!
He was technically correct. The best kind of correct.
I've had the Trilateral Commission.
"And later I'm planning a unilateral disarmament."
Like the artisanal (retention) pharmacist usage of the language in the eyedrop signatura: Put one drop in 'BOTH' eyes (like someone is going to split an eyedrop and put half of it in the right lower inner eyelid and the other half of the eyedrop in the other side) instead of 'one drop in each eye' (whether one, two, or three or more eyes are involved).
"...and also a bilateral male hysterectomy"
This from the radiologist who did a US scan on one of our neonates recently:
"Hydronephrosis of both kidneys"
Lateral thinking is what it is...
Your patient apparently got ripped off by his surgeon. He might as well have had the bilateral appendectomy and gotten the whole thing over with once and for all......
"Which is a pity, because I was really hoping to make it a mutual appendectomy. But the surgeon wasn't interested. But maybe the flowers I sent him this morning will do the trick."
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