More accurately: "He has a pet goldfish which is in good health, save for its memory, which appears to disappear every 15 seconds or so, or approximately upon each trip around the goldfish bowl."
Ah, you forget that it isn't whether you practice good medicine; it's whether the patient marks you all Excellents on the survey. Asking those personal questions, including the pets, get the Excellents. Finding the solution to the chief complaint -- might not get those Excellents.
i ask about pets in the home, which yields a fountain (or bowl) of clinical pearls....
trip hazard? able to attend to pet needs? (cognitive, financial, etc) who can I call (about pet care handoff) if the patient is to be admitted?
while pets are part of some families, but maybe not most appropriate to list under "family history" ((I add to "social hx", on the other hand, goldfish would be tails and fins above some of my family members.... - old PA
Don't forget the sweet old lady whom Dr. Grumpy noticed forgetting to take her medicine suddenly! He discovered that she had been timing her med doses upon her dog's regular habits of going outside, but the dog suddenly died, leaving her to forget to take her pills! So in her case, a medical history of her dog would have been useful!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate.
Singing Foo!
Have Dr. Grumpy delivered automatically to your Kindle for only 99 cents a month! Sign up here!
Dr. Grumpy is for hire! Need an article written (humorous, medical, or otherwise) or want to commission a genuine Grumpy piece for your newspaper/magazine/toilet paper roll? Contact me to discuss subjects. You can reach me at the email address below, or through my Linked-In profile.
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA Mary: My Awesome Secretary Ed: The office fish Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with Mrs. Grumpy:My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse) Frank, Craig, and Marie:The Grumpy Tribe Snowball & Mello: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
11 comments:
Father at 98
Mother at 99
Patient is 86
I always wondered what the relationship was to that entire line of questioning.
OH THANK GOD!
But it leads a life of quiet desperation.
If this were House, MD, then the goldfish would turn out to be key to the diagnosis...
whew...glad to hear that...was worried about Goldie....
More accurately: "He has a pet goldfish which is in good health, save for its memory, which appears to disappear every 15 seconds or so, or approximately upon each trip around the goldfish bowl."
I have the same kind of cataracts as my dog. And yes, I told my optometrist. He did not seem impressed.
Ah, you forget that it isn't whether you practice good medicine; it's whether the patient marks you all Excellents on the survey. Asking those personal questions, including the pets, get the Excellents. Finding the solution to the chief complaint -- might not get those Excellents.
i ask about pets in the home, which yields a fountain (or bowl) of clinical pearls....
trip hazard?
able to attend to pet needs? (cognitive, financial, etc)
who can I call (about pet care handoff) if the patient is to be admitted?
while pets are part of some families, but maybe not most appropriate to list under "family history" ((I add to "social hx", on the other hand, goldfish would be tails and fins above some of my family members.... - old PA
Don't forget the sweet old lady whom Dr. Grumpy noticed forgetting to take her medicine suddenly! He discovered that she had been timing her med doses upon her dog's regular habits of going outside, but the dog suddenly died, leaving her to forget to take her pills! So in her case, a medical history of her dog would have been useful!
Does Ed need a date?
Post a Comment