Tuesday, August 20, 2013


The Grumpyville city summer sports leagues are always popular, with different divisions for all levels of talent.

Usually one of the best teams in town is 8 guys who all work at Local Pizza. The manager there is the husband of one of my patients. The Pizza Boys have a feared reputation in their division, as they've been friends since high school and play together year round. They've only rarely been defeated.

Until this month.

Mrs. Pizza came in for a routine visit, and I asked how her husband's team did this year.

She paused, then began laughing. Hysterically. When she finally calmed down she told me they'd lost EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. By huge margins, too.

I asked her how this could happen. Was one sick? Injured? Dead? These guys are good (at least by city league standards).

And she began laughing again.

Apparently, due to a busy day at the restaurant, they sent one guy's girlfriend to sign them up at the city park that runs the leagues.

She signed them up for division 5 (normally they play in division 3) by mistake.

Division 5 is guys who are either recently-retired from the NBA, or who came really close to getting into the pro leagues, but weren't quite good enough.

But they are, however, a helluva lot better than a bunch of guys who run a pizza joint.

I was laughing so hard it pretty much ended the visit.


Ms. Donna said...

Could say they were out of their league.

But that would be a cliché.

Packer said...

Geezer Ball , nothing like it.

I always wondered why ortho and sports medicine guys sponsored the leagues.
The question is always:
When did you stop playing geezer ball ? Not how old were you ?

The answer is always something like when the Achilles ruptured or the ACL tore, not 43.

Anonymous said...

my husband finally stopped after complex distal tib-fib fracture and 2 months of lost work later...his older brother coached two teams, played on total of six, took EIGHT braces to "gear up" for hard nosed fast pitch (just try out if you think it is for sissies) and gave up playing on so many teams when his GRANDKIDS started playing in various out of state tournies (working full time). yes, they are a group gifted, with multiple level of athletes, semi profesional gene pool. but packer is right - nothing else as tough as "church league", where pent up aggression can be constructively dispelled....

thethingspatientssay said...

Our "church league" was known for stacking the teams with professional slow pitch softballers, all of whom easily hit home runs every time at bat. They had to start doing background checks after a year of this and many of the teams disbanded.

Vicki said...

My church had a pastor from England who had a hard time adjusting to softball on the church's team after playing college level cricket. But his background came in handy once when the pitcher bounced a ball in front of him, and he then nailed it for a home run!

Anonymous said...

So they should have been playing in division 4?

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