Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Mary's desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Etoh: "Yeah, I need to see Dr. Grumpy about my migraines, and a car accident."

Mary: "Okay... Generally he doesn't see legal cases. Are the 2 related?"

Mrs. Etoh: "Yeah, a migraine caused me to have a car accident, and I need someone willing to testify to that in court."

Mary: "I'm sorry, that isn't the sort of thing Dr. Grumpy does."

Mrs. Etoh: "Well, the police claim it was because my blood alcohol was 5 times the legal limit, so I need to find a neurologist to say it was falsely that high because of a migraine, and that I hadn't been drinking at all. Will he do that?"

Mary: "No. Have a nice day."

17 comments:

Dr Killpatient said...

"Let's see. Do you have any connections at the DMV that could allow him to cut the line? If so he will consider it"

Suzanne Lucas said...

You are so mean. And May is awesome.

Old MD Girl said...

Sometimes I really admire patients for their frankness and honesty. This is not one of those times.

PediNP said...

And he didn't ask for a handicapped parking placard, while he was looking for favors?

tbd88 said...

Go Mary!

Moose said...

Migraines cause your blood alcohol level to rise? Woo hoo! Bring on the Migraines!

Wait. Stop. OW! OW! QUIT IT! OW! MY HEAD HURTS! OW! Ok, this is not a fun time to be drunk! STOP IT! OW! I TAKE IT BACK! OWWWWW!!!

Packer said...

Note to Mary: This is 2013, Obamacare is coming on like a freight train. Proper way to handle this type of inquiry is:

How much are you willing to pay ?

Around my neck of the woods, 5X legal limit means you are dead.

ronstew said...

Took me a minute to figure out what her name meant. I'm in physics, not chemistry.

Clever, as always.

Anonymous said...

Well sometimes a migraine can feel kind of like a hangover, what with the headache and the nausea and all, but uhh... no.

Ms. Donna said...

This so has to go in the Grumpy Book of Patient Shenanigans!

Officer Cynical said...

This is why my department has abandoned DWI checkpoints, and initiated Migraine Checkpoints.

Anonymous said...

Hmm. Let's say we look under 'L' for Little Red Riding Hood' or 'J' for Jack and the Beanstalk', but not 'N' for neurologist, shall we? Cuz, I just don't get how migraines make alcohol levels in the bloodstream increase when one has not been ingesting the stuff, unless, unless, I know, I know. By George!! I've got it!! She's running on pure alcohol already, maybe, and added vasospasticity from kinked capillaries has slowed the blood down in some areas of the vasculature, but in other blood vessels causes an elevated level? Oh, did you say that migraines are caused by blood pressure increases? And, not kinky blood vessels. Too bad. I was just pacing this wild goose chase and nearly gotten to the point where I could understand it.

Kat's Kats said...

Wait, I know. She had a migraine and it caused her to black out and drink without knowing about it!!

--Sunrise-- said...

at least Mary was polite about it? :P

Tzipora said...

Maybe high levels of alcohol are the next uh "alternative medicine" treatment for migraines? With that much booze, I'm sure you must forget you had a migraine in the first place, right? But what happens when you wake up the next morning with one hell of a hangover?

Anonymous said...

Mary,

redirect her to the guy who wants someone to "hold" his car while he makes his scheduled appointment...maybe she won't need her driving licensure if only stays in the parking lot/garage?

Anonymous said...

Well, maybe she mistook her migraine medication for ambien. Then the ambien walrus showed up, got her drunk and insisted they go for a drive to pick up a spatula. It might work... Google "Ambien walrus comics" and you'll get the joke. The creator is www.toothpastefordinner.com. Super funny blog!

 
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