Friday, September 14, 2012
Patient quote of the day
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"When it's really dark outside, and I've closed all the window shades, and all the lights are out, then things look really dark to me. Especially if I close my eyes."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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2012
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September
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- Memories...
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- Mary's desk, September 24, 2012
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September
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19 comments:
ME TOO!! Especially when I put on my sunglasses before I close my eyes.
I'd like to be doing that right now.
Situation Normal-----you fill in the rest of the blanks.
"But even with my eyes closed, I scan still see the lights from the cameras the government put inside my eyelids to monitor my thoughts."
"I have a lot of pain in my hand, especially when I insert needles into it ot put a blowtorch to it."
Man-that is so deep and profound. They must be a highly paid consultant or something.
"Which really interferes with my job as the Boogeyman."
"So here's something I've always wondered- why do they always show movies in a darkened room, and how are you supposed to see them if the lights are out and your eyes are closed? Is there something I'm missing here?"
Ok, you really do draw some unusual people to your practice.
What if you are in Alaska at midnight on the longest night of the year lying under a black bearskin rug, can you see darkness with green eggs and ham?
Now that's existential, in a dark way.
Amazing how actual photons reaching the cornea seem to be required for vision...
And I've heard Xanax works well for this. Can I have some Xanax?
50 Shades of Black(ish)... Or a Blacker Shade of Dark.... or something....
Things look even darker when 5pm hits, the tech is leaving, and you realize you're alone in the pharmacy for the dinner rush and will likely do another 20-30 prescriptions in the next two hours all by yourself in addition to answering the phone and running the register. Yeah, that's a pretty dark feeling.
I am so confused. I thought you were a neurologist, not a headshrinker. Where do you find all these crazies?
This sounds a lot like my brother, who had a TBI. He's just trying to comment on his wonderful discovery that it gets dark. Never mind that it's not a discovery to the rest of his.
All it takes to make him really happy to say Wow to something like that and he will burst into full fledged laughter and start jumping up and down, utterly fulfilled with the confirmation that he really is on to something cool.
It is sort of neat, really, to see how wondrous it all is to him.
ANON -4:40- yes, that happens after TBI. And to those of us who survived with more cognition. Sucks. ANd if he's at all locked in, he knows it is nonsensical.
Ohmigosh, whatever that person has, I have it too!
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