Last night they had to attend a mandatory "election rules" class. So, while Mrs. Grumpy picked up Frank from
(There were some touchy issues. Craig's Hair, his running mate, had threatened to leave the ticket in a dispute over the newest member of his entourage, Craig's Cast, recently receiving more attention. The situation was defused by an agreement that Craig's Cast will be removed in 4 weeks. Craig's hair has now agreed to stay onboard for another 20 years, after which it will have the option of leaving at its own discretion and be replaced by Craig's Cheap Rug.)
Anyway, all kids were required to shake hands with the people they're running against, and then the following points were covered:
1. Keep it positive.
2. No negative statements. Give people a reason to vote for you, NOT a reason to vote against your opponent.
3. Don't make promises you know you can't keep.
4. Stick to the real issues (I have no idea what "real issues" there are in student council).
5. Be honest.
6. No screaming, blaming, or finger-pointing.
7. Be a good sport.
8. All campaign posters must be removed by the end of the day after the election.
I know I've touched on this before. And listening to the talk, I wonder: Why can't we do this on a national level? What the hell kind of world is it where grown-ups behave worse than kids? Aren't we supposed to be the ones setting a good example?
I still like my idea of a reality show called "Modern Sandbox:" Politicians who espouse screaming and yelling at the opposition will be dropped into a desert with an equal number of equally stubborn people from the other side, under circumstances where their mutual survival depends on finding ways to work together and be polite. Advertising revenue and T-shirt sales will go toward the national debt.