Monday, August 1, 2011

Sunday afternoon

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."

Mike: "Hi, this is Mike Hormone. You saw my girlfriend a few weeks ago for a left arm injury? She had a lot of trouble using her arm? I was with her at the appointment?"

Dr. Grumpy: "What can I do for you?"

Mike: "Well, she's getting a lot better, like you said she would and, um, I..."

Dr. Grumpy: "Yes?"

Mike: "Is there anything that might, like slow down her recovery? Not a lot, 'cause she's my girlfriend and all, but maybe just make it take longer?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Um, we're trying to get her better."

Mike: "Yeah, but she can use the arm for almost everything now, and when it was really weak she had me come in the shower to shampoo her hair for her, and that sort of got things going if you know what I mean..."

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

good idea

Trish said...

Ahhh, true love. I can feel a tear starting at his sentiment. After all it's all about him and his needs... Dr. Grumpy how dare interfere with the trajectory of that love affair? I knew you had in in you to be thoughtless at times (as you 'Y' chromosome types occasionally are), possibly you have the potential to even be cruel if provoked, but I never knew you were a bastard. Now remember your hippocratic oath - to do no harm to that man's ability to get some. After all, it's not like she doesn't have another arm. Sheesh, what a selfish cow to want to use them both.

Rick Pescatore said...

Hahaha...I almost don't believe this. Incredible.

Packer said...

sure bring her in and we will give her a little twist. Monday morning laugh to kick off the week

word verifier, pigessee---defined as a boyfriend who calls girlfriends dr to delay healing so he can have sex. A pigessee

Solitary Diner said...

Wow. This makes me want to vomit just a wee bit.

Humincat said...

That's something my husband would joke about doing after friends asked about my progress. Not something any over-then-15 man would actually do!! Seriously, people are getting more ridiculous by the minute!

OldSquid said...

I understand sir, but this is Dr. Grumpy not Dr. Ruth.

Bio Geek with Patience said...

Awww...poor guy's just looking for love, doc! Everyone's gotta sympathize with that on some level. Even if it is just a head-shake :)

thatsit said...

Boundaries people, boundaries!

Anonymous said...

Why can't you be reasonable?

Mallory said...

So what's stopping him stepping in with her and offering to wash her back?

Serious dickwad here.

word verification: butpote - another term for a guy like this.

SuFu PhD said...

well you had me going down the wrong track. i thought this story about the train going to she-needs-more-vicodin-ville.

myoclonicjerk said...

Get him to pay you for it and you may have a budding new career!

krystina said...

wow, it's been a long day. You don't even want to know how many times I had to re-read it or how long it took me to figure out what he meant...

Janine said...

I get the distinct impression that Mr. Hormone was definitely NOT welcome in the shower before. ;-)

Honestly, I can see most men thinking this, but actually acting on the thought to the point of paging a doctor on Sunday to express it really takes the cake.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a patient's wife who divorced him after he had epilepsy surgery because he no longer had those "awesome" seizures at climax that she loved so much...

gloria p said...

"No, we can't stall her recovery, but your doctor can prescribe a little blue pill for YOUR problem."

cliffintokyo said...

As @Mallory:
What does the arm injury recovery have to do with ANYTHING?
Logical disconnect; advise patient to dump dude pronto.

 
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