Thursday, April 21, 2011

Holy SPF 55, Batman!

I'd like to thank my reader Jeanette, who says this card was mailed to her office recently.

Dear Ms. Rutkowski,

Your business card was forwarded to me by a reader this week.

I must say, that in all the years I've dealt with various answering services, it never occurred to me that the operators lived in tanning beds.





If I'm wrong, and that happens to be your normal skin color, I'd suggest you see a dermatologist. They should be back from New Orleans by now.

p.s. I love the vintage green phone handset.

24 comments:

D said...

I love that the google ad under this post is for Fabutan.

Anonymous said...

What an interesting shade of orange.

Anonymous said...

I can't get over the slash through the O in one. Now it is a zero in my eyes.

CholeraJoe said...

That's spray-on Orange, not UVB. There really is a street in Tucson named Miracle Mile. It's kinda sleazy with Tattoo parlors and Pawn Shops.

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Hmmm... Maybe the pawn shops are where she got the awesome green phone.

Library-Gryffon said...

I interviewed once about 20 years ago with a woman who was (I'm guessing) in her early to mid-30s. She obviously was good about sun protection for her face, but she equally obviously did a *lot* of tanning. She was wearing a V-neck dress, and the skin on her chest made boot leather look pale and supple. I had a hard time not staring in horrified fascination. Compared with that, this girl looks the picture of health, though possibly just with bad makeup choices. My high school biology teacher, bless her, always had a line along her jawbone, pale cream below, orange above. I don't know why they sell that color base, I've never seen anyone with that skin tone naturally.

Packer said...

Home Made Laser Printed Business Card-- Yeah, I know you are thinking how does he know that....... like you never ran out of magenta yourself

D. said...

Of course, that might be her natural skin color, and the hair might be processed and dyed. (Yeah, I know, that guy in the Senate.) Lots of people are, how you say, different colors or mixtures of colors, and the words we use to describe these colors do not in fact match any of the colors that we could be.

Anonymous said...

Though I have met people that orange in the past ...

I think in this case, it's a bad edit job on the photo as the whites of her eyes and the white in her dress seem to match the hue of her skin tone.

Heqit said...

Dude. That's hilarious, but if that card is presented as you received it, why don't you blur out her location and contact information? I know it's a card printed to advertise her business, but the attention she may get from having it posted on the internet for ridicule could be very unpleasant.

Love the fake-tan-muppet-orange goodness, though!

Grumpy, M.D. said...

I honestly didn't think of doing that.

On the other hand, I have no idea how.

"Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a photoshop user."

Don said...

White out is your friend, Dr. Grumpy. I still use it on a few things. Black markers also cover up a lot of problems.
OTOH, there is the old saying
"Any publicity is good publicity."

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Jeanette sent it as a jpg. That makes it hard to use wite-out or a black marker.

I'm too lazy to print it up, wite-it out, and then re-scan it.

Earl said...

Go to her web page, www.wetakecalls.com, and then select the Contact tab. Much better picture of Jessica.

Marten said...

Any photographer will tell you that the best way to get those nice white backgrounds is to place a wall full of tanning beds there. True story.

Marten said...

@Grumpy: just open it in Paint (comes with windows). It starts up by default with a black brush, so just drag-click over the image you want to black out. Save it, and done.

Hildy said...

Yes, go to her website. Maybe the retro phones (and positions the employees assume) were deliberately done for humor, because that's the strangest collection of phones they're using. Doesn't exactly scream hi-tech.

Ben S said...

Site namers should really look at how their url reads prior to registering. What jumped out at me first wasn't WeTakeCalls, but WetAkeCalls, and while I'm not sure what Ake is, I'm led to understand it prefers being wet.

Also the earlier comment about 0ne, spot on. It almost feels contradictory.

The Mother said...

Unless you know what you're doing, you really shouldn't be desktop-printing your own business cards. Too many things can go wrong. Like this.

Lois said...

Of course that photo reminds me of a famous line from the first season of "House". "You're ORANGE, you moron!"

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure that's a young Dr Grumpy featured in the Industries Served Physicians/Health Care Services section. And you thought that photo would never come back to haunt you...

I'm surprised one of them is not holding a tin can with some string.

Lance said...

I live in Tucson. For a city that has so much sun and 100+ degree weather in the summer, there is an obscene amount of tanning salons in business here. I don't understand it. Everywhere you look are shades of brown and orange.

Anonymous said...

@Ben S I read the card the card the exact same way ( I am a chick p.s.). All that I saw when I read it was www.WETxxxCalls.com :) It must be Wednesday.

Anonymous said...

Anyone think of Addison's disease, perchance? Or maybe she just got a bad colour contrast too heavy on the red tone in the printing service. Still, I'd be wondering about the Addison's....but then it could just be a bad colour contrast......but you never know!

 
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