Saturday, August 14, 2010

More Dragonisms

It's a slow day, so I thought I'd just put up some Dragonisms.

(What is a Dragonism?)


Dr. Grumpy: "The MRI showed a brain tumor."
Computer: "The immoral eye showed a brain tumor.


Dr. Grumpy: "Naprosyn helps her back pain."
Computer: "A Mac person helps her back pain."


Dr. Grumpy: "He has paresthesias in both feet."
Computer: "He has penises in both feet."


Dr. Grumpy: "Joan takes Acetazolamide."
Computer: "Joan's seat is alive.


Dr. Grumpy: "On MRI he has a bulging disk in his neck."
Computer: "On MRI he has a bulging dick in his neck."

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just like talking to my husband - only not quite - at least it listens to half of what you said...

The RPh said...

A bulging dick in the neck would be an intersting medical problem, don't ya think?

RehabNurse said...

Love it! One of my patients is a big Dragon user.

Have you seen the NYTimes article about Dragon? Very interesting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/29/technology/personaltech/29pogue.html

Anonymous said...

Use a MAC, not a PC

Uzi-Mac, Knot a peice see

Grumpy, M.D. said...

Anon- I DO use a Mac.

ERP said...

Wow. Penises on both feet? He must be a hit with the ladies.

Jackie said...

LOL!! I tried to use dragon for over a year. It just never worked for me. I got frustrated with it.

One of the best ones was

Bang Doesn't and Jump Start!!!!

aka
When does your new job start?

*headdesk* I admire you for sticking with it!

xx
Jaxs

arzt4empfaenger said...

Oh goodness, these made me snicker so much. :-)

Also, hey, finally another use for an "immoral" eye.

Keep 'em coming.

The Mother said...

Mac people are just nicer. So less pains in the back.

wmb said...

Your last dragonism may have been paying homage to a classic ESPN blooper from years and years ago, back when Olbermann was still manning the desk there for SportsCenter. Steve Levy makes the slip and Olbermann cracks wise during the rest of the presentation off-mic, eventually leading to Levy's nearly losing control during the list of injuries of the past week.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-cq0WG_qSA

Oblermann's comment near the end of the clip : "Thank goodness there's no video of that Hurst injury."

terri c said...

This software appears to have a phallic obsession.

Julie said...

The only time I use Dragon is when dictating DXA reports. When I say "minus" it intermittently types "anus." Depending on my mood, I'm furious or giggle uncontrollably. Think of all the minuses in a DXA report!

Ben S said...

I love these.

C said...

I bought that program when it first came out for the chaplain on our base (I was a purchasing agent in the military at the time). He shared with me some of the Dragonisms after he was horrified when it gave him some not so nice words instead of the ones he wanted to use. That poor Chaplain.

Bill said...

ERP, you're probably gonna wind up treating that lucky guy for syphilis of the toes, and some unlucky ladies for athlete's foot of the vagina.

Sorry, can't resist that one.

Joann said...

These are hilarious!!!

Michelle Dailey said...

I bet my ex-boyfriend has a dick in his neck :)

SBG23 said...

Don't they use medical context dictionaries????

Cogitator said...

@ terri C A phallic obsession? Is that's why it was called Dragon Dick-tate?

Anonymous said...

My favorite:

"Her mother is ailing and living in a rest home" came out as "her mother is an alien living in a restaurant."

Anonymous said...

In line with your last Dragonism, I've seen a patient with a history of "degenerative dick disease". Poor guy.

-Schlubby med student

 
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