Thursday, April 15, 2010
What the hell?
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Mrs. Nutz: "I'm only going to have the MRI if you can guarantee me it will be abnormal. Otherwise, what's the point of having it at all?"
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
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Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
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16 comments:
I think you can guarantee that.
surely there will be underdevelopment of SOMETHING with a comment like that.
Sure, offer her twelve CAT scans over the next week, and tell her to come back in six months for the MRI.
I love clients like this. You need to do bloodwork (or whatever diagnostic it is) on their dog, and they want their money back if it comes back normal! You'd think they'd be RELIEVED!
I'd so love to know her rationale.
1. Abnormal results make my time worth it to have the scan--now the problem is figured out.
2. Abnormal results cause my insurance getting its money's worth out of the process because something was actively "found".
3. The radiologist works on a quota system and might not make it this month if something abnormal isn't found.
Actually, this makes me think she's actually Mrs. Nucking Futs.
Dude, you gotta watch episode 7 of Generation Vet.
Perhaps the quotations attributed to Freud would be apposite - (adopt Viennese accent and light a small cigar) - "Show me the normal man and I will cure him".....
Cause it would be so awful to know you're absolutely fine.
-Flavius
On this patient,brain MRI will show nothing.
I would be very interested to hear how you responded to that statement. :)
I said I don't have a crystal ball.
Hey...that's one of my favorite sayings..as in not having a crystal ball. Wish I did, I could make a mint...
I do believe her MRI will show a large empty space where her brain should be..
Maybe she has Munchausen syndrome?
Okay, I'm a non-medical professional, and even I think that's idiotic. I tried to see it from her perspective - is it possibly frustration at repeated tests that have failed to show the source of her problem? I recently had some tests that came back normal, after which the doc's office asked if I was still experiencing the problem (Um, yes, still in pain. Was the ultrasound MEANT to be therapeutic?). Even considering that, I can't grasp the logic of demanding abnormal test results.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAH
My husband did something parallel with that, though in his defense he had new fatherhood's sleep deprivation and still corrected himself: when out one day I saw a useful pair of sandals on discount and I told him to go ahead and try them on. "Nah, I don't want to do that. What if they don't fit?" I stared for a minute, "Did you just-" "Yeah, I did. Let's just ignore that I said that, okay?" Naturally the first pair he tried on fit and joined his shoe wardrobe.
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