Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday night, 6:49 p.m.
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"Hi, this is Hank Bozo. I just found an old message on my cell phone reminding me to come to my appointment with Dr. Grumpy on March 19. Can someone please call me back and let me know if I showed up for it, and if I did, what we decided to do. If I didn't show up for it, I want to make another appointment. Thank you."
A Blog detailing the insanity of my medical practice and the stupidity of everyday life.
Welcome to my whining!
This blog is entirely for entertainment purposes. All posts about patients, or my everyday life, or anything else may be fictional, or be my experience, or were submitted by a reader, or any combination of the above. Factual statements may or may not be accurate. I could be making all this up. I may not even be a doctor. The only true statement on here is that I probably drink more Diet Coke than you do. A lot more.
Singing Foo!
Singing Foo!
Twitter fans- you can follow me @docgrumpy
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Cast of Characters:
Annie: My Phenomenal MA
Mary: My Awesome Secretary
Ed: The office fish
Dr. Pissy: The guy I share an office with
Mrs. Grumpy: My Boss (also the world's greatest school nurse)
Frank, Craig, and Marie: The Grumpy Tribe
Garlic and Riley: The Grumpy Dogs
Questions? Comments? Biting sarcasm? Write to: pagingdrgrumpy [at] gmail [dot] com
Note: I do not answer medical questions. If you are having a medical issue, see your own doctor. For all you know I'm really a Mongolian yak herder and have no medical training at all except in issues regarding the care and feeding of Mongolian yaks.
Blog Archive
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2010
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April
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- On-call food
- Can't argue with that
- Attention patients!
- Mary's Desk, April 29, 2010
- Mind reading
- Evolution in reverse
- Wednesday night, 6:49 p.m.
- Dim bulb
- Dear Drug Company,
- Another day, another...
- Mary, come shoot me. Now.
- Naked Terror
- Sympathy
- Nurses...
- On call- Idiocy
- On call- Sunday morning.
- On call- tips from the trenches
- With a cluck-cluck here and a cluck-cluck there
- Fun with teenagers
- Toothbrush? Finger with booger? OMG!
- BOOBQUAKE, 2010: Shake 'em! You won't break 'em!
- Great office moments
- "Sir, can't you wait until next week? Sir? Sir?"
- Wednesday afternoon
- Wednesday morning, 5:45 a.m.
- Sentence Structure- It means something
- Fail!
- Dear Insurance Company,
- What the HELL does this mean?
- I'VE GOT THE POWER!!!
- Monday Morning
- FRANK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- My Readers Write
- Truth in advertising
- Thursday Weirdness
- So let's beware of them
- What the hell?
- Drug Ads
- Huh?
- Let me repeat the question
- The family next door
- Mary's Desk, April 13, 2010
- Overheard at the Grumpy house computer desk
- Monday non-sequitur
- Saturday night, on call
- Stupid toy of the year award
- Difficult Case
- Is she a cat?
- It's a guy thing
- My 10:00
- Early Morning ICU Rounds
- Who's counting?
- Whoa, Nelly!
- The last patient of the day
- No, just pick somebody else's family. It's more fun.
- Tuesday night, 9:25 p.m.
- Annie's Desk, April 6, 2010
- Dear Dr. Astute,
- Frazzled Farmacy
- Tourism 101
- Early Monday morning
- I'm old
- Sunday afternoon, 12:48 p.m.
- Sunday Editorial
- Stupid
- Quitting smoking
- Statistics R Us
- My readers write
- Guessing games
- Why I do what I do
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April
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21 comments:
This is real?
God, I hope this isn't real.
It's real. I don't have the time or imagination to think this shit up.
Oooh, please tell me this guy has a neurological reason for this...
Why not give the poor clown another chance? Make him another appointment. You were free at 9 o'clock on April 1st, 2010, weren't you? Sure you were. Make it then.
Then, here's how it didn't go down: Bozo didn't show up and was not complaining of a constellation of irrelevant symptoms; then he didn't have tests ordered, which he later didn't show up for; then he didn't call your office to find the results of the tests that weren't done. After that, you can not bill the insurance company. Finally, you don't go home, where you will not drink heavily.
Well, did he show up to it?
Send this guy a bill every month from now on. He won't remember if he actually came in or not, or if he paid any of the previous bills.
I'm sorry Mr. Dingbat, but I can't do all of your thinking for you.
"Oh, wait, this isn't my cell phone. My bad."
"'Cuz I really, really need an alibi for March 19th. Otherwise, can I make an appointment for five years from now?"
"Oh, and can you remind me if Dr. Grumpy is my neurologist or my dentist? Because I think I may have a cavity."
"Oh, and am I pregnant?"
be nice....we all reach this stage at some time in our lives!
OMG? Seriously, Grumpy you have some amazing patients. I may have to mention your encounters (casually of course) to my Neruo and see if he gets this shit. I have two questions for you?
Have you ever kicked a patient out of your practice? Do you need a lawyer?
If not, what would a patient have to do to be ask to leave?
I would imagine non-compliance, drug seeking behavior, etc. would be high on the list.
I am so sorry! Are you on the west coast? Or do you get up and post REALLY early?
I guess he gets points for trying.
I can *so* relate to this guy... if it isn't the AEDs trashing my memory, it's the absence seizures.
This is why I take notes during my appointments. And ask for copies of test results. And take personal responsibility for my own health care. But that's just me. I bet this guy spent an hour or so looking up his symptoms on google, but won't spend 10 minutes to make a few notes about his conversation with you and your treatment plan.
WV: nologic (no, really, that's it...perfect, yes?)
I think there's a good reason he called after hours and spoke to voicemail.
Bright side--at least he didn't play the wild goose chase card and demand his knowingly non-existent test results!
Organic brain disease?
Twit?
What's the differential diagnosis between these?
>:p
One of your Alzheimer patients, soon to be diagnosed Alzheimer patients, or your run of the mill moron? ;-)
The last one.
Maybe you should follow the VA procedure of;
1. Giving the pt an appointment slip for the next visit when he leaves the from the current one.
2. Mail a notice a month before.
3. Mail a card to arrive a week before.
4. Contact by automated phone 3 business days before the appointment.
5.(future) Send somebody over to dress the pt and haul him in.
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