Thursday, April 22, 2010

BOOBQUAKE, 2010: Shake 'em! You won't break 'em!

The following column is not mine. It was written by The Mother, (who's a mother AND a doctor) and due to my own fascination with, uh, advancing scientific research, I'm reprinting it here. I should point out that on any given day there are an average of 1,370 earthquakes on planet Earth, (and probably a few on Io, too). So you can blame them on whatever you want, and they'll still happen.


A critical thinking experiment in real time

I’ve been talking a lot lately about teaching kids critical thinking. I’ve been pretty hard on the schools, for stressing memorization and regurgitation, and ignoring the process

But on Monday, April 26, we all have a chance to strike a blow for critical thinking on a global scale.

Let me explain.

Over the past six months or so, a variety of garden-variety idiots have variously attributed tectonic plate phenomena to cosmic wrath.

Pat Robertson explained on national TV that the Haitian earthquake was caused by retribution for the Haitians’ “pact with the devil” over the bloody slave revolt in 1790 (wow, did that take the deity a seriously long time or what?).

Rush Limbaugh blamed the Icelandic volcanic eruption on cosmic wrath over the American health care bill (because the best way to seek vengeance against the American liberals is to seriously inconvenience John Cleese).

And Iran’s Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi announced that “Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes." (We are women, hear us roar–our boobs have unimaginable power.)

This last inane statement, unlike the first two, is what we science types call a “testable hypothesis.”

And it is going to be tested. Oh, yes. A critical thinking experiment is being planned in real time. The brainchild of Jen McCreight, who blogs at Blag Hag. BOOBQUAKE is designed to test the concept that immodest dress causes tectonic plate disruption.

Women are asked to wear their lowest cut, most immodest blouse on April 26th. If you happen to wear a short skirt, too, I can’t imagine that that would skew the results.

I have a see-through t-shirt that should do nicely.

To drive the lesson home to our kids, though, it’s important to make sure they understand the working hypothesis of the experiment. Then park them in front of CNN for the day, and let them watch, like we did when Katrina was leveling New Orleans.

I’m going to pop popcorn.

29 comments:

Michelle & Trevor said...

I'm a mom who was given a couple of huge gifts from her grandmother BEFORE I even got pregnant with twins. I can only imagine that if boobs are the cause of an earthquake, our house wouldn't be standing anymore. After all, even a sports bra and a t-shirt can only cover up so much when you have cleavage up to your nose. Of course, as I've been typing this, my husband has been trying to convince me to put on a white shirt and go for a swim on the 26th... all for the sake of science of course.

The Mother said...

Hey, thanks for spreading the word. The more immodesty we get going, the greater the power of the experiment.

I do think that we can rule out the !370 tiny quakes. With the amount of indecency being planned, we should expect a whopper.

All in the name of science, of course.

Anonymous said...

i think i like 4/26 even more than 4/20. butt perhaps the two holidays should somehow be combined.

Anonymous said...

I would wear red lipstick if I could bear to be so immodest.

me said...

I'm in!!!

Old MD Girl said...

I saw your post and thought "BooQuake?"

CrownedwithVictory said...

what, y'all haven't heard of an "earth-shattering orgasm?" heeeheee

Amanda said...

Heck, I'm in. I work for engineering-types. They wouldn't notice if I showed up for work wearing a burlap sack.

Dana said...

Posted the link on my FaceBook. I am sure my lady friends will be with me and the boobs will be a'showing.

I am thinking of just going topless on the 26th. That should help science, yes?

Kat said...

May I be so bold as to wear 4" heels, as well? All in the cause of science, of course.

Jacqueline said...

lol...boobs...quake...I'm so in!

word verification is nearde

Bad to the Bohn said...

Anyone who has any humor or understands humor in the least will understand Rush was joking.

That aside, this has to be the best scientific experiment I've ever seen. As the Bible says, they came by 2's...

Deborah said...

For those of you on FB, there is an event for the 4/26/10 Boobquake. Just search for it and say you're attending!!

I love love love this experiment!!

Mrs Flobster said...

The girls and I will, naturally, do our part for Science!

I think, though, that we should avoid detracting from the admirable rigor of the experiment by adding red lipstick, short skirts or fuck-me pumps. Uncontrolled variables like those may cast doubt on the results, and there's already rather a lot of confusion about the methods being planned for peer review.

Rubychopsticks said...

I was just curios as to what my word verification would be if I decided to comment, and now I HAVE to comment because it's BEASTS and I totally almost thought it was BREASTS (hey the WV is only missing one letter) which would be so funny and totally appropriate for this post!

Oh, and not to start anything but why are women being blamed for the inability of men to control themselves? I hate sexism.

John Woolman said...

Just don't try it on the streets of downtown Terhan.....

terri c said...

OMG this is beyond wonderful. I will have to make time this weekend to buy something appropriately inappropriate. Am so glad this hypothesis will be tested with such enthusiasm!!

StudentDoc said...

Michelle, I'm like you - If boobs caused earthquakes, then my apartment would definitely no longer be standing. But then again, I don't often dress provocatively, so we'll see what happens Sunday.

I like this, I can dress slutty and tell everyone it's all for the sake of science. It's a difficult job, but somebody's gotta do it ;)

Anonymous said...

Count the twins and I in, for the sake of science!

And I might add that I own a book, published in 1979 (important in a second) titled "The Eighties: A Look Back" In this, *ahem* retrospective a la The Onion", the major event of 1983 was the orgasms of everyone on earth at 1200 Zulu time on April 20...which tilted the Earth's axis. Maybe it DID happen and that's why we have global warming????

Pattie, RN

The Good Cook said...

Monday, April 26th. also happens to be my birthday. I'll be immodest for the sake of science AND who doesn't want to shake, rattle and roll on their birthday?

Claire said...

Because I'm a bit of a killjoy, I've got to say that while I am all for women wearing whatever the hell they want, AND I have the world's greatest tits, AND I'm a scientist, this makes me a little sad. I'm not sure that another based on nearly-nude ladies and men watching on the sidelines really does all that much for women. Maybe if it was immodest dress for all--because men have some pretty strict dress standards in the middle east, too--I'd be more impressed, but right now it's just another "Show me your tits!" event couched in being somehow good for women.

I'll just go back to being provocatively dressed--relative to the middle east--every damn day, thanks.

Anonymous said...

Claire- as a scientist, please remember that specific claims require supporting evidence to be published with them.

Anonymous said...

"Yes Lucy ," says Charlie Brown, "you shake those footballs !". "I'm going to come running for them!"

Carl Sagan said...

Didn't you ever watch Cosmos, Claire? Like I used to say (when I was alive)
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof."

Olivia said...

Alas, I fear, that based on Mr. Robertson's accounting, that the true impact of Boobquake won't be felt until sometime in the 24th century. It would be cruel to do that to my future cockroach hybrid descendants. :)

Anonymous said...

Maybe that's why, every time my roommate goes into his room to watch his "Girls Gone Wild" videos, I hear his bed shaking.

rmay said...

Unfortunately I, and I'm sure many other women, cannot partake as showing the tatas at work is frowned upon. A weekend when most people do not work may have been more effective.

Still a great event though.

Leigh said...

Thank you Dr. Grumpy for posting this. I am so in. Let the girls be unleashed!!!

Anonymous said...

Let's go for it! Mockery brought down the KKK (via the Superman radio show), so why shouldn't it work the same for religious intolerance? It's worth a try, anyway.

 
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