Soup

Here in the frigid Midwestern winter, soup is always popular. Currently it's just Mrs. Grumpy and I, so it makes for an easy dinner. Heat up the soup, put out a baguette, and we're good.

Today I noticed our favorite brand of soup was on sale at a good price, but, as usual, you could only buy 6 cans per person.

We have this down to a science. We each have the store's app on our phone and clip the digital coupon. I go to the store with 2 re-usable bags, fill each one with 6 cans, and then check out twice, using a different phone number each time (which is what everyone else does, too).

I went over to the soup aisle. The only other person getting soup was some crone in a robe and slippers who looked like she'd escaped from the day room.

So I picked out 6 cans and set one bag in the cart, then started to fill the second bag. I'd put one can in it when...

The Crone: "You have 7 cans."

Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, yeah."

The Crone: "The limit is 6 cans."

Dr. Grumpy: "Am I not allowed to buy more?"

The Crone: "You can only get 6 on the sale price. You have 7. I can count, you know."

Dr. Grumpy: "Look, there is no limit to how many cans I can buy, just how many I can get at the lower price."

I turned away, picked out another can. The Crone kept glaring at me. I began to wonder where her orderly was.

The Crone: "I know what you're doing."

Dr. Grumpy: "I'm buying soup. Do you work here?"

The Crone: "No, but you don't fool me. I'm watching you. I know your type."